-
Identifier
-
cpj0732
-
Title
-
The Cooper Point Journal Volume 28, Issue 28 (June 4, 1998)
-
Date
-
4 June 1998
-
extracted text
-
Special CPJ year end insert (between pages 8 & 9).
We're slashin prices on everything!
Cooper Point
Small band of student journalists seeking
same. Writers, photographers, artists needed.
S&A Board sets up fund to
No experience required.
build new child- care center
Nice office space/work environment with
semi-private smoking porch.
Positions available to students
returning next year:
reporters
columnists
photographers
•
cartoonists
•
artists
layout editors
copy editors
Arts and Entertainment editor
Letters and Opinions editor
Enquire and apply at the (ooper Point
Journal office, (AB 316, or call x6213.
, I
•
(
photo editor
Features editor
Security blotter editor
Sports editor
Newsbriefs editor
Calendar editor
Comics editor
Seepage editor
You
·CPJ·
The Cooper Point Journal
All we need is you.
by Hillary Rossi
Staff writer
The student fee allocation board
started a savings account to build a new
child care facility. It's up to future boards
to continue adding to the piggy bank so a
new child care facility does in fact get built.
Last month in the final Services and
Activities Board meeting, $5500 was left over
from the approximate $1,000,000 the S&A
Board had when starting out last fall. The
S&A Board members decided to set aside the
remaining $5500 for a new child care facility.
A survey conducted by the S&A
Board members last winter said that the
Child Care Center and the building of the
new one was the second most important
item to the students polled. The most
important item to the students who took The S&A Board has made it possible for kids like Molly (above) to have
the survey was a bus pass.
a new child care center. The current center only houses 37 children,
Ten percent of students (both male with 72 on the waiting list.
and female) have children living at home.
Seventy-two children are on the waiting list
Sixteen percent of the sudents surveyed was found the second most important item
for the center, and the building holds thirty thought that a new Child Care Center was the on the survey. The S&A Board thought that
with the allocation made for a new Child
seven children in all. It sits behind the most important item in the survey.
Care
Center they knocked out the two most
Communications Buildings and is 3175
The S&A Board decided to put the $5500
important
items on the survey.
square feet.
aside to go to a new Child Care Center since it
Student Representative reflects on year
by Hillary Rossi
Staff writer
The day before his graduation, the student
representative to the Board of Trustees, Nick
Mitchell, will represent Greeners one last time.
The Board of Trustees is made up of
seven people who make decisions concerning
the school budget, the allocation ofland and
building space, and the hiring or tiring of the
president. This year they worked on the
budget for Evergreen. They increased Housing
rent. They approved the plans for minor
arrhitectural designs and remodels. They
defined diversity at Evergreen, the definition
to go to the commi ttee responsible for
Evergreen's re-accreditation next fall.
But Mitchell, reflecting on his year as
student representative, thinks they really did
only one thing.
"The trustees are a body that approves
the proposals that the president brings before
them," Mitchell says. "Even though they are
technically her boss, the trustees are a function
of the president's power."
He says that during the year he has been
student representative, he has not heard a
single 'no' vote from the trustees on any of the
proposals that they heard.
"They put their stamp ofapproval on every
proposal brought before them," he says, Mitchell
is careful not to blame the trustees, saying that
because the trustees are not involved in the
school, they take aU their information from the
administrators before making decisions.
During last month's trustee meeting, the
only proposal that was up for approval by the
trustees which Mitchell thought he, as student
representative, could impact was the proposal to
raise the rent in the dorms.
"I tried to get at least one trustee to vote
no," he says of the May meeting. "I was hoping
one voice would speak out against it." However,
the vote was unanimous for the rent increase.
Only school administrators attend the
trustee meetings on a regular basis. Other
times, students have shown up for an hour
here or there, but no student this year has
stayed all the way through a meeting.
"Students don't really know about it,"
Mitchell says. "I always have people come up
to me and ask me about [the meetings] and
when the meetings are. I feel personally much
stronger and firmer in my ability to speak
when I have students in the room with me,
people giving me concerns or ideas,"
He says that sometimes when he throws the
students' viewpoint into the mix, the trustees
look at him as if they are not interested or don't
see the point of bringing up students' concerns
when they already have made a decision.
"You're bringing something up, and some
people are resentful that I'm making an issue out
of that, taking up time," he says. "[t's hard not to
take that personally. Anytime I'm out there in the
board room, and there's not much sympathy for
my viewpoint, [ always think to myself, 'Whoa,
you're out here representing thousands of
TESC
Olympia, WA 98505
students.' That's a really good opportunity."
Last month the trustees congratulated
Mitchell for a job well done as the 1997-98
student representative. He was also
congratulated for his part in the campus wide
election to choose the five students whose
applications were forwarded to the governor. The
governor will choose one of the five people to
represent the students to the trustees next year.
"It feels good to be appreCiated," said
Mitchell. "But I'm not there to endear myself to
the trustees. I'm not there to be liked or to be their
friend, but instead to speak for studellts. You
can't let it go to your head and not bring up the
controversia l issues that need to be raised."
He felt down on himsdfin the beginning
of the year because he didn't do as much
outreach for students' input as he wanted to
do when he got the job last spring. He had an
idea of having a radio show on KAOS and
setting up a table in the CAB to hear student
issues. These outreach ideas didn't pan out as
he hoped they would, he says.
However, he did set up an e-mail account,
wrote letters in the Cooper PoilllJoumaland held
community forums on current issues. He says the
pressures of working and going to school made
it difficult to follow through on all of his ideas.
Mitchell says the job as student
representative has been what he thought it would
when he applied for the job last spring.
"There have been some surprises," he says,
"like learning the dynamics of the board and the
relationship between board and president."
KAOSSuper
Saturday Record
Swap Meet
by Jon Albertson
KAOS music director
Even though you'll probably spend most
your money on Super Saturday at all the ethnic
food stands, you'll want to keep a little pock et
money aside.
Why? To buy records, of course. For all
you collectors of tine audio. this years' KAOS
Super Saturday Crypt Sale comes with an
added bonus. For a per-tabl e rental fee, KAOS
has oRered in- and out-of-town vendors the
opportunity to come join them in selling oR'
their artifacts at this one-day sale, which takes
place on the bottom floor of the CA Ba II Sliper
Saturday day. This mea lIS that on top of the
regular music library rejects, a handful of
private collections will be up for sale. And for
this year's sale, in order deflate its budget
deficit, KAOS plans to retire a large portion of
its overflowing and indefatigable reserve
library, "the Crypt." So, don't expect to come
out and tind only bunches of worthless crap
you wouldn't want to own. Hordes of CDs,
tapes, LPs, 10"s and Ts, representative of
every style of music, will be going out at
bargain-bin prices. Full-length vinyl records
and CDs, demo tapes, posters, stickers,
invaluable music industry schnick-shnack
from the past several years ... it'll all be there.
This thing only happens once a year, and
each year the selection gets more finely thinned,
so get their early and bring LOTS OF CASH.
WRC closes out
year with ideas
for next year
by Leslie Rollins
and Jennica Born
WRC coordinators
The Women's Resource Center has had a
successful year thanks to many dedicated women
who volunteered their time and energy to the
year's events, meetings, and organization. Here
are some ideas we have tor next year: there will
be a Women's RowingTeam, rowing around Bud
Inlet probably two or three times a week, we <Ire
also talking ;;bout rock climbing, a weekly
discussion group (participants will choose the
topic every week), quilting (to donate to local
women's shelters), and a swing/ rockabilly
dance. The Multicultural Feminism Discussion
Group will continue and we will be expanding
our resources for women-oriented studies and
needs.
[f you would like to participate in these
plans or have ideas for other events for next
year, come by CAB 206 (Women's Resource
Center) and talk to a coordinator. Our last
event this year will be a reception on Super
Saturday for a quilt that will hang on a wall in
the Center. This will be a great opportunity to
come see the quilt, talk with a coordinator, and
get comfortable in the center if you have never
been by before. Have a fabulous summer!
Bulk-Rate
u.s. Postage Paid
Olympia,WA
98505
Permit No. 65
Address Service Requested
. • -: : ..*""--i
' ~. '..~.
!' ~i''''' ''
-1\'.
,:
GRADUATE
The Last Word
This is a letter to thank Tortllny
Buzelllan and Co rey Finnegan for their
dialogu e over the past weeks. Their words
remind me that there is much work to be done
to continue educating ourselves and the
co mmunity about issues around violence. I
uffer these last words to all Greeners and
Olympians who strive to improve th e world
we live in especially when co nfront ed by
sexist. racist, het erosexist individuals. Though
th ey ma), respo nd d efensively and with
illogica l arguments, it is important to contront
th ese individuals and let them know their
narrow-mindedness will not be tolerated. So
uver th e summer, ge t toge ther with lik e
minded and not-like-minded people, and
sha re a mea l. Disagree, agree. but keep talking
to one another. This is my S i c ilial ~
grandmother's recipe. enjoy! I would also like
to dedi cate this article to Miguel McKennedy
who has inspired me as a feminist. activist.
comedian, and good fri end .
Polenta with Red Sauce
For th e polenta:
6 cups water
salt
1 1/4 cups course ground CO rll meal
1/3 Clip Parmesan cheese
2 teaspoons chopped basil
For t he sauce:
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large ye llow onion, chopped
1/3 cups red wine (semi-dry)
1 tablespoon tomato paste
oregano to taste
4 cups chopped Roma tomatoes (preferably
fresh)
dash of sugar and sa lt
To make the polenta, butter a 9-inch
square pan, and set it asid~. In a large
sa ucepan , bring water to a boil and then
slowl y add the corn meal. Coo k over
medil;m heat, stirring, lIntil it pulls to the
sides of pan. Stir in Parmesa n. basil and sa lt.
Pour the polenta illto th e square pan . rover
and refrigerate ulltil cool.
While waiting for polenta to cool,
make the sauce. Heat a splash of water in a
large skillet. Add onion , alld saute, stirring
for 10 minutes. Now add wine, tomato paste,
and salt. Reduce heat and allow to simmer
for about 20 minutes.
Next, remove polenta from the
refrigerator, and cut into squares about the
size of your palm. Heat some canola oil, and
dmt th e squares'with tlour. Fry, turning once
until goldell. Serve with tomato sauce
poured over square lollowed by some grated
Parmesan.
Add a heated discllssion and you have
got quite a meal!
Sincerely,
Erika K. janson, happily graduating
P.S.
"Silence is violen ce in women and poor
people if more people were screaming then
I could relax but a good brain ain 't diddly if
you don't know the facts."
ANI DIFRANCO
Oh, shit, Donald,
you had better
wake up for your
graduation!! What
can [ say except it's
about time and
kick some bal ass.
Vivek
Bed '&?
~a Books
Olympia'.Oi La'8est Indep endent Bookstore
Channing 1910 :ManSIon
Over[ookJng tfie iPuget
Sou 1/ C£
.--:--~
colTege Iij'['- if
I parents stay,
Student Discount
1 DOh) Off New Texts
We buy books everyday!
you eat free!
11 :)(; [,\5 1
Summer Work Opportunities at
Petersburg Fisheries
A Division of Icicle Seafoods, Inc.
PO Box 1147 Petersburg, Alaska 99833
• Producillg Quality Seafood for tile Wilole World
• Operatillg continuously sinc(~ , 1899-1 00% American owned
• A laml-IJ(lseci seafood processing plant located in
Sou til cast Alaska
Call today for a real Alaskan Experience!
If YO ll
(lI'(~
available from July tilrough September 5
Call (907) 772-4294 01'
v\ ww. petcl'sburgfisheries.com for information
We are an EClLlal Opportunity Employer
the Cooper Point Journal
REFLECTIONS
GRADUATE REFLECTIONS
Random reflections
Evergreen's split
personality
Evergreen has a split personality.
The faculty and curriculum in the
soc ial/ language/ cultur al studies have
proven to be very diverse (the science
department is anot her story- ask any
student or color in science, specifically Vu
Chu). All but two of my fnculty have been of
co lor, which has been both amazing and
strengthening for me to have real life ro le
models oreolor. I will miss that dearly about
Ewrgreen. Thank you to Therese Saliba,
York Wong.l.arry Mosqueda, Carol Minugh,
Torn Mercado, and Lee Lambert.
The other part of the co ll ege's
personality I do not like at all. I understand
the need to promote diversity but false
advertiseme nt is another thing. The First
People's Handbook and the catalog that most
students of color receive before attending is
incredibly misleading. All the people
portrayed are the only visible minorities here.
They are the only people you will meet or see
unless you stay here all four years, and I am
one of the very few who have. Everyone I
meet says the same thing, "Yeah, I've seen you
around." Of course you have - no one else
looks like me, and I've been here FOR FOUR
YEARS.
Ano ther part of this is the bullshit PC
attitude the majority of Greeners have.
Everyone thinks they are so open-minded
and liberal. But what it breaks down to is
The brilliant green grass of the soccer
field on sunny days; the sound of drum
circles in the distance; fliers taped to light
posts; dogs on rope leashes ; long lines in
front of the coffee cart; men practicing
juggling on the third floor of the Library
building; struggling over self evaluations;
dreadful fire alarms in A-dorm; buying Ben
and jerry's at the Corner; trying to start an
on-campus group called Evergreen Hemp
Activists; discovering the Internet; using the
Internet to follow the progress of third party
presidential candidates in 1996; wearing
earplugs and covering my windows with
black plastic bags to increase my chances of
sleep ing for the ideallO hours per night;
Chance carrying around his multitude of
dangling keys; the random drive-by ofTESC
public safety (police); flying hom e during
Chr istmas to visit my parents in D.C.;
meeting many foreign students while a
resident assistant with the EF school; the
thrill of reading Crime and Punishment;
riding my bike to Top Foods and corning
back with a camping-style backpack full of
food: utilizing public buses for the first time;
attending a concert at the backstage of the
Capitol Theater; gathering Signatures for
Hands Off Washington; attending Evergreen
RA meetings; my first individual contract:
comparing and contrasting the drug policies
of the United States and Holland; trudging
through the woods to count different species
of plants in Introduction to Environmental
Studies; being on a field trip and listening to
the disappointed gasp of classmates as we
listened to the O.j. Simpson verdict over the
radio; wondering whether some of my
classmates had any logical reasoning
abilities; entering an essay contest to win a
straw bale home; folding other people's
clothes which I had taken Lit of the dryer
because I thought it was good karma;
bombing the LSAT and deciding that maybe
law school wasn't for me; co ll ecting
unwanted couches for the EF Mods;
practicing the piano in the communication
building; listening to Rush Limbaugh before
going to my Marxist theory class; discovering
the wonders o(coffee; attending the Olympia
Film Festival; the view of the Capitol Building
and Capitol Peak as you approach Olympia;
buying an old Ford Mustang so [could learn
more about cars; listening to jeanne Hahn
give her wonderful lectures and taking notes
until my hand hurt; watching people repel
off of the clock tower; smoke streaming from
the eating booths on Super Saturday; strolls
to the Evergreen beach ; my friend's car being
this: Evergreen is far left-winged - which is
the opposite of society, but it ends up being
just as dose-minded about issues.
And then there is all this bulbhit about
being so "cultured" and understanding of
"others." With all "your understanding" two
things happen: either we're so "othered" and
put away where you "understand" us from a
distance but don't relate at all or ever
completely "understand us" and then take
eve rything as your own and a.djust it to fit
your life. This behavior is completely
disrespectful. I definitely think honor and
respect are very important , but keep in mind
culture is a certain people's expression of their
lives - not yours. Don't take credit or adapt
it , because you just end up mutating it. Also,
just because you've been to India once or met
some Indians doesn't mean you are an expert.
It's so similar to the United States. Just
because we are Americans and live in America
doesn't mean we know eve ry asp ec t of
America.
We are here for an education, not to
make new stereotypes in "liberal" lights.
Thank you, Evergreen, for challenging
and stimulating my growth.
And to all the hippi es and cu lture
appropriating white people: Fuck you.
Marlyn Prashad
Last week, we asked you who won't be around next year (at least
in a student capacity) to write in with your thoughts about graduating,
Evergreen, and whatnot. And guess what? We got some responses!! So
many, in fact, that we didn't have room for all of them. I apologize to
Hillary Rossi and Cristin "tin tin" Carr for not being able to include theirs.
also apologize to myself for not being able to put my own in. Oh, well. I
guess I'll just have to thank everyone in person.
Please enjoy the senior reflections on this page, the next page, and
page 5.
Thank you a ll ever so much for the memories and for reading the
Cooper Point Journal.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Koogler
Editor in Chief
-COOl'l: R POINT JOURNAL-
CAB 316, The Evergreen State College, Olympia, Washington 98505
News
Staff Writers. Hillary Rossi
Staff Photographer: Sam Trechter
Letters and Opinions Editor: Lauren Adams
Copy Editors. Selene Alice & Suzanne Skaar
Comics Page Editor: Dan Scholz
Calendar Editor.' Aaron Huston
Newsbnefs Editor.' Mat Probasco
Seepage Editor: David Simpson
Security Blotter Editor: John Evans
Sys tems Manager.·Tak Kendrick
Layout Editors.' Tak Kendrick & Kim Nguyen
Photo Editor . Greg Skinner
Feacures Editor.' Michelle Snyder
Arts & Entertainment Editor.' Ethan Jones
Managing Editor. Leigh Cullen
Editor in Chief- Jennifer Koogler
Business
Business Manager: Keith Weaver
Assistan t Business Manager: Amber Rack
Advertising Represen tative. Trevor Pyle
Ad Designers Marianne Settles & Tan-ya
Gerrodette
Circulation Manager: Cristin Carr
Manager: Peter Berkley
Ad Proofer Maya Kurtz
Advisor: Dianne Conrad
all CPJ contributors retain the copyright for their material printed in these pages
f llr CGOper I}om l Jou rn al , ~ drrerted, sroffed, wfllf en, (,(/'.'I'I} and als(nburerl by rhe S(udenr~ enrolled at I he
EvergfPt'1l \rurc Cofleql!, who are w/cly re)ponslblr and /,(}/I/e lor the produ(/mf) and (Onien( of the
nt!' v~/)rJf)(I Nu ugen( uf the college m ay m rnn yt' Uf/I)1l rhe rH('~~ freedom'of (he ( ('Ol'er I'Ol/Jl JOufI1ol or m
sludcnl }/LlI!
[ vcryrel'fJ, members five under a speC/als t't ul nqhh an d f '~~ {'0rl5 lblfl /le5, foremost 01 110:19 whI ch I) tho r of
t!rr!U~'lf)y ri ll' ({('('da m (() explo re Ideos o nd fa JI\(U\~ OWl' ('x f)/o ro(lom In ba rh IPPI!(" and pnnt Baril
lfI~rIIIlIlUr)(J1 {] nd IndIVid ual cenwfslllp afe of VOflufll (' WI th thiS ba SIC freedom
)uhn1/\I/I)m Ol e due M onday 0 1 noon pflor 10 pllhli(otlon, and ore p referonly fC(elV{,(j Of) 3 5~ d,ske rt (' In
MH'! mo(r Word 6 0 (ormot s E mOIl wh'm'~IO/l~ !1fI! al!'o accep tab le
All ~ubm155 101l S mu st have th e OtHho r'~
June 4, 1998
r ('t ] !
/l ame an d va lid telephon e nurn bt' f
vandalized in F-Iot; painful knees and wondering whether Prozac has adverse side.
headaches after Kung Fu; this school is an affects which we won't know about for 25
isolated , liberal compound; starting to really years; hoping it doesn't; finding in a trash can
despise the rain by the time March arrived; the a sign I had made which poked fun at a sign
faint smell of natural gas and the high pitch
made by those opposed to guns on campus;
~vet;green
buzz of the neon shop; karaoke in the Edge; considering driving back to D.C., living with
by Amber Rack
calls from public safety in the middle of the my parents, and working for the federal
night regarding a drunk EF student; study government; corn in g to my senses and
L.ast week, we took a
groups; working for a brief period of time as realizing that livin g with my parent s and
closer look at •••
Administrative Coord inator at EF; losing my working for the federal government would not
the Welcoming Woman
desire to attend school and falling into a make me happy; developing a very high
prolonged depression; considering teaching tolerance for alcohol; meeting a multitude or
I'm sure
English in China; considering teaching English
interesting peopl e with interesting life
in japan; considering joining the Peace Corp; experiences: becoming addicted to purchaSing
you see the
considering traveling around the world ; used books about economic-related subjects;
irony.
considering moving to France; considering attending meetings orthe Washington Hemp
transferring to Western Washington
Education Network; deciding that I would
University of University of Washington to stop worrying about my future and let things
study computer science; feeling very nervous happen as they may; finding out that some
abo llt my future; consid ering going to law people thought I was gay; finding out that my
sc hool; considering going to law school in parents suspect that I might be gay;
D.C.; considering attending law school on the discovering that I probably do have a lot of
west coast; considering study ing feminin e characteristics; discovering that it is
constitutional law; considering studying real- fun to put on make-up when the opportunity
estate law; conSidering becoming a real-estate presented itself. I'll stop now.
investor; considering staying at Evergreen for
my Masters degree; going to Ottawa to attend jason Schwalb
the national convention of the Young Liberals ,-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
of Canada; attending the National Presidential
Nominating Convention of the (American)
Libertarian Party as part of all individual
contract for which I studied the relationship
between classical liberalism and modern
libertarianism; giving up on trying to read The
Wealth of Nations about 100 pages into the
book; considering working for the United
The Army can help you gel an edge on life and earn up to
Nations; considering starting a commune;
$40,000 for coll ege through the Montgomery Cl Bill plus the Army
considering starting a business; considering
College Fund.
taking Prozac; taking Prozac; liking Prozac,
Here's how it work s. Enlist
feeling bad when I wasn't taking Prozac;
for four years. You then COIltribute $100 a month for the
firs1.year from your $11,100
first year salary. -nle Army
then contributes th e remain der. En list for three years and
you earn $33,000 or enlist for
two years and earn $26,500.
Army opportunities get
Seeking a direct connection
better every day. If you
to the creative life force?
qualify, you cou ld train in one of ove r 200 challenging and rewardSubud Olympia meets
ing high-tech skills in fields like avionics and electronics, satellites
and microwave communications, computer and radar operationsweekly, 923-4215. Subud is
just to name a few.
a non-profit association.
It makes sense to earn while you learn. For more infonnation
about getting money for college, call your Army Recruiter today.
,
[l®®~
'p
at:
THE ARMY CAN HELP YOU
GET A $40,000 EDGE
ON COLLEGE.
CLASSIFIEDS
Miscellaneous
Deadline 3 p.m. Monday. Student
Rate is just $2.00/30 words.
Contact Amber Rack for more rate
info. Phone (360) 866-6000 x6054
or stop by the CPJ, CAB 316.
,
1-800-USA-ARMY
ARMY. BEwww.goarmy.com
ALL YOU CAN BE:
i
I
Join our 1998 - 99 Peer
Counseling Staff!
We have paid
positions available for students
who are committed to work within the
First Peoples' community at
fragrances:
giftware
jewelry
cards:
toys:
candy
Evergreen .
CWe also have internship positions available)
ArChioald ~i~ter~
4th g, Capitol · Downtown Olympia· CJ43-2707
the Cooper Point Journal
For a detailed position description &
application, stop by the First Peoples' office in
Library 1407 or call (360) 866-6000, extension 6462
GRADUATE REFLECTIONS
Thank yous and thoughts and shit
,
GI·L show announces winners
The GIL-DAS (Graphics Imaging Lab - Digital Art Show) has announced its
winners! The trips to L.A. go to:
Da.n Weisser and Larissa Podzaline (collaboration. Dan's a
current student, Larissa is an alum) for their digital photographic series,
and Kelly Miller for her mixed media boxes, wood, plexi, digital images, and old
photographs.
The Photo Services gift certificates were given to:
Rachel Lush's digital photograph (pictured here) and Hannes Willroth for his web
page <http://www.olywa.net/hannes/homeset.htm>.
The Town Tubs Award was given to: Aaron Kruse for his digital video.
The "People's Choice" Traditions certificate went to Erin Gault.
r
f
•
'
..
...,.. ,,.
#0
..
.,
1•
I
Animation, live-action ~arrative, experimental, and. documentary genres
will be included at the Mediaworks Film and Video Screenings. This is the final
screening of student film and video P!ojects from the Mediaworks program.
Running times will range from three to twenty minutes in length.
The screening is WedneSday, June 10 from 3:30 to 5:30 p,m. and 6:30 to
9:30 p.m. in the Recital Hall of the COM Building. Admission is free, but if you
bring small children they must be "adequately shushed," to quote a press release.
Applause, guffaws, sniffles and gasps are greatly appreciated if employed at the
proper time (check with author for guffaw schedules). For further information,
please consult the flyers posted in the Communications Building.
/
student .H·e alth
Cenler·I,·c roslng for '
summer
.
-
The Student Health Center closes for the summer on
Friday June 12 at noon. This will be the last opportunity for
students to pick up on-going medications such as birth
control pills, asthma medications, allergy antigens,
antidepressants, and whatever else you're on. Referrals to
private medical practitioners in the local community can be
provided. Transfer of health records can also be provided
for students not returning to Evergreen in the fall. The Health
Center will open again on Monday, September 28, on the first day of
classes.
.
Longtime CPJ columnist looks back at his tim·e at Evergreen
Well, well. well. It would seem that this
truly is the last word I will have with the
Evergreen community. Looking back it hardly
seems that I have persevered here these last,
what three? Yearsl It hardly seems possible.
Some thanks are in order. First I would
like to say thank you to the all the faculty who
put up with me in class but particularly these
five: John Kinnerk, whose ardor for philosophy
encouraged my own hunger for deep thought,
and Deborah Kinnerk whose passion for
writing fanned my desire to express the
product of my thought by attempting to write
well. Peter Bohmer, for walking his talk in a
place where most muthafuckahs love to talk big
but never have your back. Dianne Conrad, for
exhorting me on in my foray into civic
journalism. And finally to my mentor Dave
Hitchens, who I discovered late in my
Evergreen career but who has had the most
impact upon my development as a scholar. His
love of history and literature combined with
his commitment to teaching students to write
and think critically made my time with him far
more rewarding than I have space to properly
acknowledge.
As for the staff thanks to: Key services,
particularly Paquita Garatea and Bob Cillo.
They helped keep the small shit small and kept
me from stepping in it, too. Chris Ciancetta
for telling me that Black men don't study
abroad and then helping me do it. Chuck
McKinney. the best boss I had at Evergreen, for
being secure enough to be a real man in a place
where such behavioris strongly frowned upon.
Special thanks to Jimmee Lowe, my
homie, my ace. for providing a sounding board
for the frequently hard to believe behavior I somebody when they are fucking up - that is
when behavior is not consistent with
saw at Evergreen.
Now for some last thought on the progressive ideals. Racism, sexism(against
behavior at Evergreen. I am going to limit women AND men), homophobia - it doesn't
do anyone any good to look away and pretend
myselfto three things.
People of Color- I wish we had more nothing's happening. Your real friends will
unity. The bottom line is we need to band thank telling them the truth.
"Frontier Feminism"- the man-hating,
together across superficial lines, get organized
and demand administration live up to the power-lusting, imperialistic type that is seen far
too
often
at
mission statement. I am
Evergreen. I realize
including staff ofcolor on
that many folks are
this. Some of the petty
trying feminism on
squabbles
I have
I
wrote
this
column
in
for
the first time here
overheard amongst staff
an
attempt
to
clarify
and I can forgive the
of color are unseemly and
students
for
entirely out of place, and
issues and sometimes
overzealousness.
they trickle down to the
I failed. I hope I
But it seems that
students of color.
helped
more
often
some
of the staff and
Students and staff ofcolor
faculty
have come
also ought to place more
than not.
here to form their
of a premium on colorown little fiefdoms
that is you are NOT a
person of color simply because one of your and everyone is reluctant to speak out for fear
parents had color. If you are not trying to resist of being labeled "sexist." Wrong is wrong no
white supremacy for yourself and others of matter your gender. The justifications women
color, well, if you aren't a white supremacist use to abuse power on this campus are the
you might as well be. This is not a slight at same ones white men have used historically to
students of color who grew up around white rationalize mistreatment of women and
folks or are part white themselves. I believe minorities. Power feels good, doesn't it? When
we should make a special effort to include them women's power is abused to demonize any
in POC activities. But we should not beg people manifestations of male sexuality it is
to join us who clrarly don't want to be oppressive. It is fucked up that the "frontier
feminism" on campus is taking a toll on men
bothered.
Progressives of all colors- freedom of of color and even more fucked up that women
choice does not mean all choices are equally of color are standing idly by (in the name of
good for all people. Have the courage (it takes sisterhood?) and letting it happen. Women on
more courage to check a friend) to check this campus have a good thing: an opportunity
to share power forthe good ofeveryone. Check
yourself for your own good.
To the Evergreen community : I am
grateful for the opportunity that writing this
column presented. I looked over some of my
old columns and I believe I have progressedboth in my ability to write and think. I took
some real shots over the years from some
people for things I wrote. I knew this would
be part of the territory but I regret that some
people felt obliged to treat me a certain way
because of something they thought I said in one
of my columns. To my numerous detractors
over the years: I gave each of you a chance to
clarify your position and come to a better
understanding. Your intellectual cowardice is
evident by your failure to respond. I won't
name your names. Public mudslinging is not
my game. Sometimes I intended to offend but
I never intended to maliciously hurt anyone. I
wrote this column in an attempt to clarify
issues and sometimes I failed. I hoped I helped
more often than not. I was not afraid to explore
complex issues in the hopes of making sense
of some of them. Thank you for allowing me
into your lives.
p.s. Extra special thanks to Sarah for not
listening to all the fools who think they know
me because they heard about me and made my
last days at Evergreen more exquisite than I
would ever detail in public.
Peace.
Vaun K. Monroe
I
{
•
r
I
ph oto by Mat Proba sco. co urtesy TESC GIL
Rachel Lush's Cat Wings won praise at the Graffics Imaging Lab's Digital Art Show.
j
Small band of student journalists seeking same. Writers,
photographers, artists needed. No experience required. Nice office
space/work environment with semi-private smoking porch.
Positions available to students returning next year:
reporters
columnists
photo editor
Features editor
photograph~,s'
,!;:~:ecurity blotter editor
cartoonists,.
, Sports editor
artists "
.Newsbriefs editor
layout editors,. ~
Calendar
editor
•
•
copy editors l i!,.;~r}>;:~),;c<;:;;
Comics editor
Arts and Entertainment editor
Seepage editor
Letters and Opinions editor
You
t
To Market!
FRESH PRODUCE, FISH , PLANTS. HERBS,
HON EY. FWWERS, FAMILY FU.N, MORE
1\.1! ISle, ART, T- SHIRTS , ASTER GARDENS.
:-- -- i
~
-
(/).aJt6# '.A C.afR
l
!
pl.. 357-6229
01'1.1,
qlf~S-SIfH
ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW FOR YOU'
84111-21'111
Open April - December 10-3
Thurs.-Sun., Thru October
Sat., Sun., Thru Dec. 20
At the foot of Capitol Way
Y0L-\
Located at tRe.
fL-\tL-\l"'e" .
C.Oll\e..t air 4tR
alJ'e..
e
,i
at\1KlK(~.
I
---~
the Cooper Point Journal
N
At Competitive Rates
78th & Center St. - Tumwater
Student Discounts Available!
June 4, 1998
OLYMPIA·\'It. ClSS02'
e/;I) -'J,263
"~<>&,f<<:\;;1
Exit 101
943-4722
~UIo\. St. t:KtoKCe. OK ~UIII. St. UKde..t
tRe. pUApee.
S
24 HOUR A DAY ACCESS
FENCED FOR SECURITY
all the best in
Y0t-\ ....
~
(,)
IV,lolage
T<SSC al"'adL-\ates, we
wish
Rildu/llial
mini .lolage ~ x
&
"eo"'9I"'att-\lations
SEEDS . TR EES. STUFF AND PIES . FUN'
t
Congratulations
C£vergreen
Graduates
'IJrm\''>l' r s' 'Book
Shop
Enquire and apply at the (ooper Point Journal office, (AB 3 76, or call x62 73.
3 57-7 46 2·107 CJ\PITOL W A Y
DOWNTOWN OLYMPIA
the Cooper Point Journal
June 4, 1998
A Calendar of things to do
Thursday, June 4
YOll can interview the candidates for the
next member of the Police Services force at
II :30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. in CRC 112.
YOLI can also interview Katie Kel~o, a
ca ndidate for Registrar, today from noon to 1
p.m. in th e Longhouse .
An open disc lission on domcstic violence
and the eHeets of sexism begins at noon on the
second floor of the Library.
Ohio Impromptu, a collaborative
exploration of Samuel Beckett's text
performed using the art of shadow puppetry
plays today at 8 p.m. in the Experimental
Theater. Admission is free.
Gifford Pinchot area on June 20 to 22. You can
call the ERC at the aforementioned extension
until June 12, and at x6636 after that.
Saturday, June 6
If you are graduating, you should go to
graduation rehearsal starting at 1 p.m. out on
Red Square. This is where we all get to learn
how to walk in a straight lin e.
Those folks who toiled all year long in
Mediaworks will show their stuff today from
3:30 to 5:30 p.m. and 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. in the
Recital Hall (the hour intermission is for
dinner eating). You'll get in for free and enjoy
some animation, live-action narratives,
experimental and documentary tilms.
Ohio impromptu plays again today at 8
p.m. in the Experimenta l Theater.
Sunday, June 7
Friday, June 5
More interviewing: Registrar candidate
Andrea Coker-Anderson will be available today
trom noon to 1 p.m. in the Longhollse.
Love is Stupid is a fabulous lo-fi, sci-fi
musical by the lovely Jenny Jenkins. It will play
today at 8:30 p.m. in the Recital Hall.
Admi~~ion is free, and there wi ll be tea ,
cookies, and perhaps even door prizes. If you
go at 7 p.m., (which you should) you'll get to
see the Size is Everything animation
presentation.
Today is the last day the Health Center
will be open, so if you need to pick up any
medication s, need your medical records
transferred somewhere, or referrals to local
practictioners, go today.
Those crazy bands Cadallaca, Rondelles,
and Howardian will play tonight at the
Midnight Sun (113 N. Columbia Street by the
Mini Saigon) starting at 9 p.m. It's an all-ages
show and it will cost you $5. Get there early,
as the Midnight Sun is small and fills up fast.
Dance 12 is coming tu you courtesy of the
Gami ng Gui ld and VerySmallCat at 9 p.m. in
th e Library lobby. It 's free. but you should
bring a canned food donatiun. Cume shake a
puddin' to modern ruck. rave, alternative,
go thic , industrial. and almost evervthing e1sc
you can groove to.
The Olympia Film Ranch presents 30 Minutes
Max-films made by you to see what artists
are doing. This means YOU can submit a film!!
Call 754-479 9 to submit. The fun starts at 7
p.m. at the Midnight Sun. It 's free, but
donations are welcome .
Sleep late and get your evals done if they
aren't already.
Monday, June 8
Hmm ... you could go to karaoke tonight
at Thekla starting at 10 p.m. You have to he
over 21, but it's free.
Tuesday, June 9
Those lovely blue-lined flyers are true.
All women are beautiful. This artistic show
begins at (j p.m. in the CAB.
The Environmental Resource Cen ter and
the Gifford Pinchot Task Force will be
presenting a slid e show and information
session about the logging of old growth and
roadlcss areas in Little Huckelberry MI. Forest
region . Call the ERC at xG784 for the site and
time. The ERC will also host a weekend of
guided hikes of timber sa le unils, act ivist
workshops, and campaigning planning in the
Wednesday, June 10
of speech, or of the press; or the right of the
•
people peaceably to assemble, and to petition
the government for a redress of grievances."
- First Amendment, U.S, Constitution
The Top Ten things
graduates will miss about
Evergreen:
10) Those people you've seen every day
And the ten things we won't
10) Over tlyering
9) Once a freakin' month paydays
GRADUATION!! The chaotic festivities 8) Coming back to the laundry room to
start at 1 p.m. on Red Square, but I suggest find all your clothes, still wet, piled on
getting there an hour early to stake out a good the dryer
place to watch your favorite graduate walk the 7) Overpriced textbooks
plank to get a diploma. You'll have to spend a 6) Long, boring seminar's where nobody
lot of time outside, so be prepared. Special
talks but that one person who won't shut
guest speaker this year is author bell hooks.
up
5) The depressing look of the campus
Saturday, June 13
around mid Winter quarter
SUPER SATURDAY!! The entire campus 4) The astounding array of scrumptious
is taken over by fun. Ton~ of food, crafts, food choices at the Deli
music, clowns, balloons, and people. A 3) Financial Aid
2) The Computer Center, Week 10
splendid time is guaranteed for all.
1) Hippies
Congratulationl Greener Grad/.
Alternative viewpoint on
NonPolitcal Economy hire
Christian's
To the Editor:
We would like to respond to two letters
in the 5/21 CPJ. As Evergreen students, we feel
it is important to express an alternative
viewpoint on the new Political Economy hire,
which allegedly represents Evergreen's "trend"
in faculty hiring.
In light ofthe student-critic's letters, this
issue raises many questions, all of which are
impossible to address here. We have chosen a
few main points. Does having a commitment
to multiculturalism mean sacrificing
Evergreen's commitment to quality education?
Our answer is no; diversifying the faculty and
student body is a priority, but so is choosing
the most qualified candidate for faculty
positions. Evergreen is in a precarious position.
Commitments to both multiculturalism and
quality education are, at times, incompatible
goa ls. Which goal should take precedence at
an institution of higher learning, and why?
Who should decide?
Do we as students want the appeara nce
of multiculturalism, or professors who
(regardless of race, gender or sexual
orientation) embody Evergreen's ideals? The
answer may not be as evident as it seems.
Imagine Shelby Steele, author of The Content
Of Our Character: A New Vision Of Race in
America and professor at a California
university, applied for a position in English
here at TESC. Not only is he African-American,
but he would be qualified in just about every
respect. Would it matter to the
multiculturalism-at-any-cost advocates that
Steele qualifies affirmative action as "an
escapist racial policy," or that his assessment
of members of his own culture might not agree
with The Evergreen Ideal?
"The victim-focused black identity
encourages the individual to feel that his
advancement depends almost entirely on that
of the group." (Steele, The Content Of Our
Character)
Whether or not you agree with Steele,
hiring him would have to be considered a
victory for multiculturalism. But is this what
the student letter writers have in mind? What
this comes down to is a matter of trust. Do we
as students trust the committees to hire people
of any sexual! ethnic orientation or gender
who, regardless of that orientation, are
qualified to make varied contributions to our
education? In our opinion, the committees
deserve our trust.
We believe that these 'concerncd
students' have an exaggerated view of how
much the average student would take on if
given the unconditional opportunity to
participate in hiring decisions. Further, the
letter writers seem to imply that students
should have the dominant voice in this process.
How are students more qualified than current,
experienced faculty to make these decisions?
What criteria would students employ to make
their decisions? How many biases and personal
(non-academic) agendas would be at work?
Let's be realistic. This is not to minimize the
importance of student involvement generally,
but there is a distinct line to be drawn between
faculty responsibility and student
expectations/ opinions of what a "good"
faculty hire looks like.
How can we assume, in the face of reason,
that any white male faculty hire will be
patriarchal. white supremacist or
homophobic? Is this really the experience that
most students have with white male Evergreen
faculty? From our experience, this is not the
case.
In a setting such as Evergreen, where we
pride ourselves on creating a comfortable
environment for people of all backgrounds, the
hostility that this new Political Economy hire
will encounter is ironic and in itself contrary
to the Evergreen "ideaL" If there truly is a
change to be implemented in the faculty hiring
procedure , let's see a plan of action that
addresses the concerns, and not the incessant
whining that seems characteristic of what it
means to be an Evergreen student.
Way to go, Cuncerned Political Ecunomy
Students.
Lara Zarowsky
&
Teresita Torres
Balance at Geoduck
Beach needed
Don't forget to pick up
your caps, gowns,
tassels, and other
graduation supplies
at the Bookstore
... for those of you returning,
remember that the Bookstore
will be ready to welcome you
back to Evergreen with a wide
selection of what you need for
a successful quarter!
866-6000 ext. 5300
the Cooper Point Journal- - - 6-
establishment of religion, or prohibiting the
Top Ten List
Friday, June 12
TESC Bookstore hours:
Mon-Wed 8:30 am-6 pm
Thurs 8:30 am-7 pm
Fri 8:30 am-5 pm
Closed Weekends
ongress shall make no law respecting an
free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom
for years but you will never meet
9) Nudity in class presentations
8) That walk across Red Square after a
long day of class
7) Simpsons watching parties
6) Calling authority figures by their first
names
5) Field trips
4) Being identified by a big phallic clam
3) Jobs where you get paid to do
Thursday, June 11
homework, read books, check your eThe day before graduation. If you are like mail, and play computer games
me and graduating, you'll spend the day 2) Social Change
mu sing over your college career and/ or 1) Hippies
tighting off the urge to vomit when thoughts
of your future pass through your head.
lie
compiled this week by
Jennifer Kooeler
June 4,1998
Today was a beautiful, sunny Sunday.
And as far as days go, beautiful and sunny is a
rarity on Cooper Point. So I decided to take
full advantage and visit Geoduck Beach. After
all, it's only a 15 minute walk from my
expensive on-campus apartment.
So I walked down, uneventfully. I didn't
get mugged in F-lot (yay!), and the woods were
calm, peaceful, and 10 degrees cooler than on
campus. There weren't even any mosquitoes.
It was pleasant.
Finally, I arrived at the beach. And was
promptly confronted with nudity. More
nudity than an R-rated movie. More nudity
than a porno website. More nudity than the
Jim Spagg Show on Portland cable access. It
was everywhere - middle aged, portly men
waddling on the beach like penguins in all of
their pallid, sickly, naked glory.
I promptly sought sanctuary from the
madness and rounded a bend. There was a
beautiful shady spot under a tree, and since it
was warm outside it was an inviting spot. So,
sti'll shaking my head from the nude madness,
( sat down and opened the book I'd brought
and started reading. Halfway through a wellwritten description ofLinux kernel modules, I
heard a noise. I looked up, then to my left, and
there he was- the most flabby, hairy, ugly one
of the bunch, standing no more than 15 feet
from me, taking a big, glorious leak. Naked.
Noticing me staring at him, he gave me a big
grin, turned toward me, shook his thingy, and
then wandered over next to me where he put
down a towel. sat down heavily, farted, and
sighed contentedly.
Trying to contain my disgust, I quietly
put my book back in my backpack and sought
somewhere less ... um, naked. I finally found
it - a log over a stream, in a cool and peaceful
I looked up, then to
my left, and there he
was - the most
flabby, hairy, ugly
one of the bunch,
standing no more
than fifteen feet
from me, taking a
big, glorious leak.
Naked.
area at the edge of the woods. But
unfortunately, the mosquitoes thought it was
cool and peaceful , too, and were busily
breeding - and feeding on anything alive that
ventured into the area. So I headed up the trail.
To my amusement, the beach is guarded by a
sign, which reads:
"Evergreen Nature Preserve - Faculty, Staff
and Students Only!
No Alcohol
No Camping
No Fireworks
No Fishing
No Clamming
No Nudity (heavily scratched out)
No Motorized Vehicles
Area patrolled-Violators will be Cited."
As I headed up the hill, the person who
invaded my space practically ran after me. In
a nasal voice, he said, "I hope I didn't chase you
out of the spot, it's so hot today I just needed
to cool off." I muttered something about
wanting to leave anyway, and stopped to let
him get a good distance ahead of me before I
continued up the hill.
Some people may consider me to be
prudish, but I'm not sure I want to be subjected
to a sea of nudity every time I go to the beach
on a nice day. Couldn't a balance be struck
where the naked people could be on one side
of the beach, and everyone who wants to wear
clothes could have the other side (around the
bend) where they won 't have to see naked,
hairy, flabby, middle-aged men? Geoduck
Beach is unofficially nude - why not split the
difference and make it official?
Meanwhile, the beach can't equally be
enjoyed by everyone. And that's a shame.
Robert Walker
the Cooper Point Journal
June 4,1998
response
to Bible
Ji,m
What was Bible Jim's purpose when he
came to Evergreen nearly two weeks ago?
It certainly wasn't to win converts. In Bible
Jim's own words, he was here to "piss
people off." He accomplished this quite
well. I listened to Bible Jim for four hours,
so I feel I am the most qualified to
comment on his 'wacky antics.' When I
first started listening to him, he was
explaining why 'rebellious womcn' were
un his Sign of Damnation. His definition
of a rebellious woman was "one who
didn't do what I told her to do." I groaned
in disbelief along with everyone else in the
crowd. But as the afternoon wore on, I
groaned less and less at Bible Jim because
I learned to pick up on a little thing they
call sarcasm. Bible Jim used a lot of this. I
mentioned the crowd a moment ago, let
me talk about them. I've talked to my
friends at other colleges that have had
visits from Bible Jim, and they tell me he
rarely gathers a crowd of more than 10.
At the height of his popularity there were
maybe 50 people in Red Square listening
to him. I found the actions and attitudes
of this Jerry Springer cast off audience to
be more offensive than anything Bible Jim
sa id. I'll tell you one thing, day time talk
shows are dummitying our generation like
you wouldn't believe. From a group ofgirls
jumping up and down screaming
nonsense to a couple of girls taking off
their shirts and waving them behind Bible
Jim. The capper had to be when a bucket
ofice water was poured on Bible Jim. Oh,
I almost forgot about the two lesbians
making out on the bench next to him. A
lot of the things he said were out of date
by modern Evergreen standards. "The
reason there were so many muff-divers
(lesbians) on this campus is because they
just haven't met the right man yet. Which
I think is true. Now hear me out. I'm a
straight male but if I met the right man
who just happened to have breasts and a
vagina ... and no penis ... who knows?"
Many people accused him of being angry
and hate-filled. He wasn't, though . Just
because someone says you are going to
hell doesn't mean they hate you.
According to his deep-held beliefs all
those people on his Sign of Damnation
(queers, lesbians, astrologers, witches,
college professors, rebellious women ,and
Mormons) are, well, damned . And
instead of sitting in his church laughing
maniacally at the fate of Evergreen alumni.
he's out here warning us. We might not
heed the warning or even listen to it at all,
but it's out there. What you choose to do
after you hear the message is up to yo u.
Michael Tanncr
lie
"FREEDOM OF SPEECH:
ongress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,
or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of
speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble,
and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
- First Amendment, u.s. Constitution
Straight Talk
From a student of color leaving the campus
Straight talk
This is my last article, I promise. I believe only a
fool would be offended by the truth. My
intentions are not to hurt anyone's feelings. I
want to be honest about what I think and feel.
Warning: If you are a fragile, little white girl. then
you might want to ~top reading this now. I know
you're nosey ~o it's going to be hard to stop, I'm
sorry, "Curious."
I was told by a "superior" that I should
watch my words. I've even been told to love it or
leave it. I have decided on the latter. The weather
and the whiteness does something to a brother.
I don't believe in that "when in Rome do as the
Romans do" b.s. My grandfather always had to
watch his words. his boss Mr. Baker used to talk
to him like he was a dog. I believe the White man
could have put a foot in my grandfather's ass and
my grandfather would have probably just smiled.
I asked grandfather why he let White people
disrespect him that way. His reply was: "Pride
don't pay the bills." He wouldn't let a black man
disrespect him. My grandmother on my
mother's side of the family was afraid of white
folks. She would "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir"
white children. White folb use to really fuck
black people up in their day. I understood but
didn't understand . My mother wasn't like her
mother, and my father wasn'tlike his father.
I'm just exercising my rights since so many
have died trying to obtain them. White f'olks
never have a problems exercising their rights.
When I do, all the good Negroes come out: Aunt
jemima, Uncle Ben, Sapphire and Sambo. I can't
get them to help with UMOjA, though. Why are
you so sensitive? We talk this way.
I'm just everyday people. I like straight talk.
I'm not a White boy so I don't speak like a white
boy. I can translate fairly well. Appropriate =
steal. Copy, take / discover = Invade, steal.
Takeover / assimilate = acting white.
The Evergreen definition of diversity to me
is other people trying to be other people. If there
were more proud people of color, it might make
a difference. Got no unity. Everything seems so
white. This is just my opinion. You shouldn't get
offended if you're not guilty and consider it a
compliment if you are. It seems like there are a
lot of damaged and confused people here. Blacks
don't want to be black and whites trying to be
black and can't. Diversity. Most Asians fall in the
"I want to be white category" and if they have
little sumthin' sumethin' it's because they copied
some white person.
Now remember you shouldn't get mad if
you're not guilty. Oh, I almost forgot; other/
mixed: black/white. Where I'm from, you're
considered niggers, too. Here black and white
makes grey.
Grey is slang for? You get the skin and the
hair, everything else about you is white. You're
like dandruff, white and flaky. To me, most of
you seem so ashamed- that's why I talk about
you. A lot of you probably hate your dads because
he wasn't there or he's been castrated by your
mom. (Some brothers lose it when they marry
white lVomell or is that what all education does?)
So you're killda soft and confused. When
questioned about your lack of representation,
you get defensive like white folks . Talk about
what black books you read or you want to spread
you r legs (I know what you want, black man),
mother like daughter.
Once I was talking with this h.b. hippie
sister when she opened her mouth. I thought to
myself. your mother's got to be a blond. She was
into trees. A comedian on B.E.T. comedy was
talking about this sister that chained herself to a
tree on the news. He said he wouldn't give a
damn if they cut every tree trom New York to
Mississippi. As many black folks as that have
been hung in trees.
Black folks need to work on saving black
folks.
It seems like most you come out goofy,
simple, with no rhythm or soul. Some brothers
say that it's an act and you have to suppress it.
You can "totally" with the best of them, huh?
Most biracial brothers on campus seem
like eunuchs.
Check out the h.b. hippies. Your hair is
locked because Billy'd got his locked. They dress
trashy because Billy dresses trashy. It's treaky
seeing black people looking that way
Intentionally and I know you don't like to be
The Evergreen definition
of diversity to me is other
people trying to be other
people.
called black. I feel sorry for ya. These are the
kinda' black folks that will go to Guyana, Waco.
and catch flying saucers. I can't get them to
participate in anything concerning black folks.
It seems like the soul gets bleached tight
out. You rea lIy suffer from not being white
enough, that's what really wrong with you. You're
ashamed ont, aren't you? Did the white boy used
to make fun of your willy because it was so big?
You wanted that pretty white skin like mama.
People used to stare at you when you with your
mommy. Hair too curly, wish was straight. Most
biracial sisters don't like brothers, but mommy
definitely liked brothers at least one night.
Mommy, though it would be nice to have a
child that didn't have to tan, she didn't know
what in the world to do with your hair. To grease
or not grease, that is the question. If she
struggled with your hair, what did she think she
was gonna do about the rest of Your life, Maybe
you should get a subscription to Essence.
Pull your head out of the goddamn sand.
Don't run from it. Consider it an asset, not a
liability. You've always got some sort of excuse, I
don't care if you're half white. Gonna say what I
wanna say. It doesn't change history. It seems to
me that black culture is big and big business.
There are so many versions of the pseudo negro
I don't believe fucking a black man qualifies
white women to speak for black people .
Wouldn't it be cool to have a black tax since we
can't copyright culture. It would be a form of
reparation. I think you should pay us for helping
you not be so boring.
Sister said I was crazy, but I do think white
f'olks have improved at dancing on beat, at least
some of you.
Black music, black athletes and B. D. That's
what they like. Got nose for dollar.
I didn't want to exclude blacks. I love my
people. Olympia/ Evergreen has some of the
sorriest black folks I've ever seen. Black folks with
so many different agendas. You're afraid ofa little
black unity. Your skin is seen before your
sexuality. I didn't want to start no riot, just
celebrate black history. You are definitely some
unique negroes, whitest I've ever seen.
I think UMOJA could use a little help from
the black faculty, a little support, get involved
with the Evergreen community.
You don't have to like me or what I say, but
you do need to like yourself. There should be a
black history committee consisting of faculty,
staff and students. I think if the black faculty get
more involved with UMOjA, it would encourage
some unity. I'll bet you don't even talk to each
other. Basketball team get more involved with
UMOjA, the white girls will be there. Know you
got game. Real game.
The brothers, some of y'all are seriously
"crackered out," N.S. (No Soul). At home, calling
a brother a white boy is an insult, here it would
compliment. If being white is what you're
shooting for, let me tell you you're doing a good
job. As a matter fact, it's overdone, like attentionseeking white folks. Brother walks around like
he's got a golf club up his ass sideways, some
white boys got more soul. Ain't that scary?
Recruitment! More real brothers and sisters.
Recruit more real sisters. Maybe that will cut
down on some of the imitators.
Seen it all since I've been here. I've seen
simple ass Sally from Simi Valley trying to be
Keesha trom Compton. Complete with bobbing
head. (Jenny jones guest candidate.)
I've seen white boys with matlocks
screaming roots and Culture and reparating back
to Africa. (Didn't get enough slaves the first
time?) The topper is they were performing in
celebration of Malcolm X's birthday. Ohhh .
How does a southern white boy get a
jamaican accent? Sounds like an idea for a song,
I think I'll call it "Y.T. Dread," aka "Culture
Vulture." AI Jolson.
I've met the most ignorant people right on
this college campus. Seems like there are so many
unhappy people. In desperation, some claim to
be Indians, you could be Indian, if they ever make
Redneck a tribe. You know what's depressing?
The nasty, dirty, smelly hippy. Matted hair,
trashy, dirty, tattered clothes. Wool stretched out
sweater sleeves, walking with a dog on a string.
Pants and dresses drag the ground, leave ring of
dirt around the bottom. B.O. and garlic
dominates your space and mind, too. Dreadlocks
use to be so black and it use to have some
meaning, the devil got a hold of them and they
lost their true meaning. I don't give a fuck about
Braveheart, that's not where you got it from. I've
always considered most of you too boring, stiff
and not much personality. Some of you would
rather deal with trees and animals cause you
don't care about people. I think you like trying
to compete with black folks. We do so much
more with so much less. White folks have to go
overboard. I love being black in spite of all the
things white folks did to discourage it. I've always
wondered why blacks and Indians aren't that
close since we have so much in common .
Thanks for the opportunity to express myself so
openly.
jimee Lowe
~
1
ns
Every person may freely speak, write and publish on all subjects, being
responsible for the abuse of that right."
•
- Article I, Section 5, Washington State Constitution 1889
Re-examine hiring Take care
process
of the
Dear President jervis;
We are writing in regard to a recent
decision of the deans and the general hiring
committee which we believe carries implications
for the Evergreen community as a whole.
Evergreen has been graced this year with the
work of Dr. Steve Verhey, considered by
ourselves and other students in the Structure of
Life program to be one of the most effective,
perceptive, skilled and creative professors we
have ever encountered. He has shown, through
his dedication and long hours of work in the lab
and classroom, his articulate and extensively
researched lectures, and his sensitivity and
concern for students that he is an instructor of a
caliber rarely encountered. Dr. Verhey, a visiting
faculty this year, was a candidate for next year's
Developmental Biology position. He had the
overwhelming support of not only his students
but the other members of the science faculty and
the instructional and research staff who worked
with him, as evidenced by 25 letters presented
to Barbara Smith, Provost.
Students, staff, and faculty who met with
the alternative candidate, Dr. julio Soto, and
attended his lectures disliked his teaching style
and felt a disinterest on his part in working or
collaborating with the other researchers at the
college. During his second lecture, he
demonstrated an inability to effectively teach ill
a multidisciplinary style, while poorly
responding to numerous questions put to him
by faculty members regarding the material he
had presented. When formally introduced to a
prominent female staff researcher in the lab, he
looked her up and down and turned away
without offering his hand or saying hello.
The hiring subcommittee, made up of
faculty and students in the sciences- those who
were both most qualified to make a decision
regarding a new science faculty and the most
directly affected by it· selected Dr. Verhey as the
superior candidate. This decision was supported
by eve ryone we've spoken with who will be
working with the Developmental Biology
professor next year as a student or colleague.
This decision was then brought to the general
hiring committee and was overturned in favor
of Dr. Soto. Only two of the 10 committee
members had attended the lectures. These same
two faculty were the only committee members
involved in the sciences, and they opposed the
decision to hire Dr. So to. The result has been that
the Evergreen science community has been
cheated out of an exceptional team member who
had been selected and supported by that
community. To date, the committee and Provost
have given no defensible reason for their decision
and have evaded attempts to elicit more than a
vague and ambivalent explanation .
Though it is too late to undo the wrong
done to Dr. Verhey, his students and his
collea'gues, we respectfully request that you
investigate this situation and take whatever
measures are necessary to prevent it from
happening again. Evergreen's hiring process
needs to be re-examined, to ensure that the
people who have the most power in a decision
are those who are both qualified to choose the
best candidate and have a vested interest in
doing so, and that hiring decisions be publicly
backed by clear and firm reasoning that places
academic excellence above all other
considerations. Though, after this experience, we
have little faith that the needs or opinions of
students will make a difference in the actions of
our administration, we feel that we cannot
remain silent on this issue.
jenna White
Eve Rickert
TESC Students
. . End of the year
Greener rap
,
Greetings fellow students! My name is Jane
Galaxy and I am giving a cosmic shout out to all
the ' Greener Grads and Undergrads!
Congratulations on completing your degree!
Now with the fine credentials you have to flash,
the road to Super Stardom awaits!!!!
Rememberwhat ya learned, remember what you
want, remember what to give, remember
when to jaunt I
To make your dreams reality,
look close, and focus on your destiny.
Listen to your heart, feel it in your feet,
the road to successful dreaming is as close as a
link.
And to the kids who are still in school.. .. let's rock
this forest till2002!!1
We've got the time to make our learning
experience shine!
We've got the means to make little children sing!
We've got the roll, and we'll show you where to
go,
a place oflaughter, smiles and growth!!
With organization, determination and focus,
strive high, baby, you'll make it!
That's it.
It's a rap. This is jane Galaxy, over and outl
Do you know why this
space is empty?
Someone submitted a letter but left a bogus phone number. That's
BAD, BAD, BAD. We won't print anything without a name and
number to confirm authorship. Please be aware that next year the
same policy will be applied.
the Cooper Point Journal
• June 4, 1997
The history of
grape soda and
words how to obtain the
you use
Force
ASK
Last week, flyers were seen posted in
the CAB that read, "june is Boycott China
Month," in bold print. It is only upon closer
inspection that you discover that the flyer is
intended as a protest against the Chinese
occupation of Tibet. While the second page
of the flyer is composed of a list 0["10 things
you should know about China and Tibet,"
the words "june is Boycott China Month"
scream from the page, clearly legible trom
across the CAB . While this may be the
intended effect, we feel that this flyer is
offensive and misguided.
This spring break a billboard depicting
a sinking ship was spotted in Sarasota,
FI<;>rida. The billboard read, "Remember
Pearl Harbor. Don't buy Japanese cars."
There may be reasons why US auto workers
would feel competitive towards Japanese
corporations and would, for economic
reasons, urge people to "Buy American," but
this billboard was thoroughly racist in its
wording and motivation. Japan may have
been a brutal imperial power in WWll.japan
did colonize Korea, China, and Taiwan just
to name a few. However, that is not why the
people who erected the billboard did so.
They were motivated by racism. Now,
China's government has colonized Tibet. No
one is disputing this. But to the Students for
a Free Tibet we say that your insensitivity to
people, ordinary people of Chinese descent,
makes your flyer equally as repugnant as the
billboard in Florida. May is Asian Pacific
Heritage Month. Did your organization feel
it was appropriate to undermine our efforts
to celebrate our heritages so quickly? Did you
ever take into consideration those students
at Evergreen who happen to be of Chinese
descent? We create a space in May for them
to be proudofwho they are, and in June you
tell them to boycott a part of themselves.
Remember, your flyer did not read "Boycott
Chinese Corporations in Tibet," but simply
"Boycott CHINA." The flyer also failed to
deliver the names of any Chinese
corporations operatir.g in Tibet, even though
the flyer itself asks you to "boycott the
companies listed here." Where? They're not
on the flyer! Has your overly zealous guiltridden need for a righteous foreign cause
finally exposed you for what you are?
Ignorant, self-righteous, and insensitive?
Think about it. If you truly wish to support
the struggle of the Tibetan people, then rephrase your words. Free Tibet, not Boycott
China. Not only do you fail to mention
exactly how people could do their part (very,
very small part) to pressure the Chinese
government into ending its occupation of
Tibet, but the very language used in your
flyer is misleading and irresponsible. Correct
us if we are mistaken; your fight is to free
Tibet, not to slander China.
Richard Courson
Celesta Sligar
VuTan Chu
Marlyn Prashad
DR. CEREBRUS
the advertising and marketing businesses by
associating his product with a completely
unrelated image. "Grape Soda" was coined, and
Nehi went on to make a fortune applying this
same concept to other products, most notably
.. Busch Beer."
psyc hically c honneled hy
Josh Knisely and 5eoll
Fronk
Dr. Cerebrus is a retired sllpervillain who lives
in a compound a half· mile beneath TESC. The
Cooper Point joufllal does not endorse or
condo'ne his views, nor those of any other
supervillai n.
Dear Dr. C,
So·called "grape soda" tastes nothing like grape
to me. Why is it called ':ffrape" and what is it
rcally the flavor of?
Robin, Forks
Dear Robin,
Though the long and winding history of "G rape
Soda" has never been fully unraveled, I have
plumbed my brain for a version of the story that
will answer your question to my satisfaction.
An obscure sect of Islam, known as Ishmalism,
tells a story of a liquid distilled from the fruit of
knowledge in the garden of Eden. Some scholars
have made various connections from this elixir
to modern-day grape soda, and there seems to
be a certain consistency in this theme
throughout the area's history (Greek and Roman
mythology tells of "ambrosia," or the "food of
the gods"). In my research, however, I ran into a
brick wall in my search for the juice when it
apparently disappeared during the fire of the
great library of Alexandria.
However, an incarnation of the substance
reappears when, during the health craze of the
late 1910s, a man named Dr. Cayenne introduced
a cleansing colonic marketed under the name
"Coca-Colon." Despite being a tasty and
refreshing beverage, its health claims went
largely unproven and sales were sluggish- no
doubt due to its carelessly considered moniker.
Enter young entrepreneur Elias Nehi.
Spying an unexploited opportunity, Elias bought
the formula and set about re-naming his newly
acquired diamond in the rough. Noting that the
drink was comprised mostly of carbonated water
and prune juice, he released the product under
the name "Prune-Pop."
Faring no better than "Coca-Colon," he redefined
Dear Dr. C,
I've secn the Star Wars series aboul a hundred
times, but I haven 'I yet figured ouC how co obcain
the Force. Can you help me geC chis awesome
power?
Devin, Federal Way
Dear Devin,
Boy, if! had a dime far every time I've been asked
that question, I'd have one very lame, sobially
inept dime. Well, if we remember Star Wars
correctly, "the Force" is composed of "the Dark
Side" and "the Light Side." What is not so widely
known, however, is that in George Lucas' original
script, there are two additional forces called
"Goldenrod" and "Salmon." We hear little from
the jedi of these schools, as no one ever bothers
learning the Goldenrod Force and the Salmon
jedi are constantly getting their asses kicked.
Blit never mind that, Devin. A more important
question is how you ca me to be a moribund
nimrod. Do you realize that viewing the Scar
Wars series "about a hundred times" amounts
to approximately six hundred hours of your
existence? Six hundred hours that you could have
spent mastering the Force via a home
correspondence course available from The
Greater Power Correspondence School of
Muncie, Illinois? The mail·order lectures from
Prof. Ardwin Nevell on the Meta-astrophysics of
the Sa lmon Force are riveting.
This is it! The Year has ended, and the good
Doctor will be on hiatus to reflect upon the next
season of "Ask Dr. Cerebrus." Send your question
in today!
e-mail drcerebrus@hotmail.com
or send a postcard to:
Dr. Cerebrus c/o the CPJ, CAB 316 TESC
Olympia, WA 98505
\
Tlile ·End
"..
.
.;~ ~
Goodbye. That's 'it foriLetters., aQ~ Opini~n~ this-year,
. , thanks to who everyone who co'ntrihuted.", .
" ."Lov~,'
Lauren .
'i"'V _ _
'~ ..£ ~&' 0 Editor
'I' _
I
• •
'
1
;:
-.,
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
III want to do somethin' freaky to you, baby."
-
Usher, "Nice and Slow"
Important Reviews Down on the
•
And important previews
At the end of the year, we don't always have time or space to properly review
worthwhile artists'work. We feel these artists deserve mention:
Dub Narcotic Selector
An interview with Calvin Johnson
by Ethan Jones
Arts and Entertainment editor
down and ask Calvin a few questions.
Ethan: Have you ever seen the movie
Calvin johnson has been pretty busy this
yea r for a man who prefers to do nothing.
Th e ubiquitous found er ofK Record s has
found himself involved in many projects.
That's no surprise. The results, however, will
be extraordinarily visible this year. One of his
pet projects, the Halo Benders, have already
released their outstanding new album Rebels
Not In. Another pet project, Dub Narcotic
Sound System, has an intense album
com ing out in August. In
addition to everything else he
does around K, he also
recently pieced together a
great compilation called
Selector Dub Narcotic.
The album is
cu lled from tracks
recorded at johnson's
Dub Narcotc Studio over
the last five years. It
features a number of
artists who've recorded
for K in the past, such as
Black Anger, KG, Beck,
Versus and many
others.
I
took
the
opportunity to sit
Orgy ofche Dead?
Calvin: Orgy ofthe Dead... no, I haven't.
Ethan: Well, it's horrible I I saw it just
this last weekend, and it features the Wolfinan
and the Mummy as secondary characters. This
morning I was discussing with a friend which
is better. The Mummy is scary because he's
dead, but the Wolfinan is scary because it could
be anybody around you.
Calvin: Yeah, the Wolfman's got it goin'
on, alright. What era is the movie from?
Ethan: It was made in 1965, I think. Ed
Wood wrote the "novel" it was based on. Do
you have a preference for the Wolfman or the
Mummy?
Calvin: Well, I kind of go for more of the
'30s style, y'know. Lon Chaney, jr. I thought
was a really good Wolfman .. In those versions
of th e films, you didn 't have a lot of sympathy
for the Mummy. Whereas the Wolfman, you
really saw his other side. I always kind of
related to the Wolfman ... way ahead of its time,
the way Wolfman's story was told. It was more
like a 60s film. Very postmodern.
Ethan: Hmm. So, I guess I should ask
you about Selector Dub Narcotic now. What
was your inspiration for putting out this
compilation?
Calvin: We II, I'd don e a lot 0 f
compilations before. When K first started on
Dear Jesse to play OFS
by John Evans
Film Expert
North Carolina senator jesse Helms has
lo ng been a controversial figure, his
co ns ervative dogma regarding the death
penalty, abortion, the arts and gay rights
earning him a reputation as an enemy ofliberal
politics far beyond the borders of his state.
Now, a young gay man has crafted a cinematic
message to the sena tor and fellow North
Carolinian that is equal parts road movie, biopic and political satire.
Dear Jesse, playing at the Olympia Film
Society june 14 through 18, is Tim Kirkman's
open letter to the politician who once said on
the senate floor that if gay people" stopped
doing what they 're doing, there would not be
one additional case of AIDS in the United
States of America."
"jesse Helms is the face of the state," sa id
Kirkman when asked why he made this the
subject of his first feature film. "He's (created)
an icon of demagoguery and conservatism that
will exist long after he's gone." Kirkman
actually has a lot in common with the senator.
Both were born in Monroe, North Carolina,
raised as Sout hern Baptists and attended
Wingate College before working in journalism
and radio broadcasting. Surprisingly, when he
turned 18 Kirkman voted for Helms and holds
that he wasn't alone, even among gays.
"A lot of gay people want to embrace
everything that is not what th ey are, to try and
wear that costume and play those roles. Those
of us who do it with a lot of effort are successful
al it. " Kirkman resists media compa risons of
Dear Jesse to Roger and Me, Michael Moore's
personal account ofGM plant closings in Flint,
Michigan that is alternately hilari ous and
disturbing.
"I guess it is a little bit of a David and
Goliath story, but it 's less about its subject
(Helms) than it seems," Kirkman said. "It's
more a film about the South ... an attempt to
reconcile where I came from with who I am
now." In the film Kirkman road-trips around
North Carolina interviewing authors,
journalists, poets and average citizens who
don't feel represented by the congressman.
"That's the compelling part of the road
movie," said Kirkman.
"These are not big
authorities talking about
jesse Helms .. .this is not
hard-hitting political
analysis. I went in my
truck and visited with
folks for awhile, had an
iced tea or a memosa,
and then left. One person
would send me to the
next. It was a domino
effect. "
Throughout the
film, residents trumpet
Helms'
straightforwardness even when
they condemn his
rhetoric. It's a familiar refrain but one that
Kirkman wishes would teach Helms'
opposition to be equally forthright.
"The people fighting him should learn
the greatest lesson - you may not agree with
him , but you know where he stands. He sets
the agenda ," Kirkman sa id, wishing that
Helms' opposition would take a proactive
stance of their own. This belief inspired his
"letter" to Helms, though he suspects it will be
marked return to sender.
•
the Cooper Point Journal
"He (Helms) said, 'These people will do
'anything they can to get attention, including
abUSing the truth .' I doubt he's seen it (the
film). Conservatives often comment about
books they haven't read and art they haven't
seen."
Kirkman resists the temptation to
openly bash Helms in the film, showing
restraint even when telling the story of a
mother who lost her gay son to AIDS and
received a letter from Helms saying "I'm very
sorry your son chose to
play Russian roulette
with his sexuality." The
mother became cofounder of M AjlC, or
Mothers Against jesse
in Congress.
"What I wanted
to do differently was not
demonize him the way
he demonizes gays and
lesbians, " Kirkman said.
In only one scene
does he denounce
Helms openly, branding
the senator a liar during
an emotional argument
with his father, who was
more ambivalent about Helms at the time.
Kirkman said that after shooting the scene he
had to leave the room to escape the
confrontation, and it was some time before he
could bring himself to look at the footage .
"I was just trying to get my dad to stand
up for me against a politician who was saying
these disparaging things about me," Kirkman
explained. One of the only people willing to
see HELMS continued on page 12
June4,1998
cassette, and before that even I was working
with the Sub Pop fanzine before it was a label,
and we did some compilation cassettes. So I
had this idea about compilations and how to
put them together. llike doing that.
When I started doing the studio ... One
of the main ideas behind the studio was to get
a compilation, only in the spirit of some of the
compilations we did in the '80s. But have it be
stuff that originated from Dub Narcotic. It
gives me a good excuse to work with a lot of
creative people I admire. I'd say, "Hey, why
don't you record something for this
compilation."
Ethan: So did you pick the songs for the
album?
Calvin: Pretty much , yeah. Sometimes
[the bands) did. Maybe we'd be doing a single,
and I'd say "how about an extra song for the
compilation?" and they 'd do one. Or we'd
record four or five songs and I'd say "Oh I want
this one." So it worked different ways.
Ethan: How involved do you get with the
production and engineering of recordings that
are made at Dub Narcotic?
Calvin: On all the stuff on that record I
pretty much did all the engineering. On the
Black Anger Movement song, I was involved
with the recording, but not the mixing.
Ethan: Do you let the artists do as they
will?
_ _ _---:::-:-:~::-:-----:";-----;;----___;_;:;:
see CALVIN continued on page 12
RECORD REVIEW
Cannanes, Tiny Frown . This minialbum is a charming and catchy
catch. Recorded in Olympia in 1996,
it features their Stephen, Fran, David,
and Francesca line up. The art by
David Nichols is wonderful.
SHOW PREVIEW
Cadallaca. Rondelles. and
Howardian at the Midnight Sun, 113
N. Columbia, on Friday, June 5. The
all-ages show starts at 9p.m. and
costs $5. Cadallaca is a new band
featuring Corin Tucker. Go!
SHOW PREVIEW
The Dirty Birds, a crazy punk and
jazz and hillbilly band made up of
some Greener alumns, will be playing
at the beer garden on Super Saturday.
The show starts at 6 p.m.
SHOW PREVIEW
Joules Graves returns to Olympia on
June 6. She'll be bringing her unique
folky music to the Olympia Ballroom.
Call 786 - 8883 for ticket information.
Note Farm
by Ethan Jones
Arts and Entertainment Editor
Mat Probasco is on the move.
The industrious news director at KAOS
who is the brains behind Year 5000 also rUIlS a
record la bel!
Note Farm records recently issued two
great compilations, Songs and Sounds of Tra,.h
fmm Central Oregon and Six from the Farm.
"I had lots offriends in bands," says Mat.
"who were sitting around, waiting for some
label to swoop in and throw money at them. My
friend Richie Young and I just decided to
start putting out CDs ourselves. We ,
rounded up as much money as we could
-.....z..
and printed a CD of bands in the
art~a."
MOVIE REVIEW
Godzilla the movie sucked, but the
press packet was really cool. When
you open the folder it screams like
Godzilla. The first time, it was scary,
but now it's annoying. And it comes
with a CD ROM .
RECORD REVIEW
The Arch Villains, We Hate Your Ugly
Face. The Arch Villains have
unleashed a mean seven-inch on an
unsuspecting public. Featuring four
big, raucous songs. Not suited for
those who don't rock. Check it out!
t
.
'!
Both CDs feature a variety of
tr":---.
musical styles from many bands.
"The idea is that Richie and I
take all the money we make from each CD
and sink it into the next one. "
Pick them up at Positively Fourth Slreet
and Rainy Day.
Mat Probasco is reaching out to you.
Ramen test results conclusive
Thirteen angry ramens and three pissed off ramen eaters
Our mission: Eat Ramen. Rate Ramen. Hate Ramen . We have
accepted and completed this torturous task so that the average
college student can save himself the misery and the stomach
cramps. Over the course of the year, we have each, l3 times , sat down to a wholly new and
different approach to Ramen. I have fond memories of my first log entry for Creamy Chicken,
but it all seemed to go downhill from there. We have judged each Ramen for content and form,
rating both taste and presentation. In the end, there can be only one.
So YOU, the "average" college student, for the love of all that is holy, please make use of our
sacrifice. Eat only what we deemed worthy- I guess that would be anything with a final score
of 15 or above. That leaves you, ummm, three Ramens. We've hit the fly ball to the right fielder,
my friend, and it is time for you to be the winning RBI.
by Tim Gillespie
special to the CPJ
Paul
Daniel
Average
Tim
roue/Preienlolron TIlsle /PltSenfollon TIIs fe /Pre'il!ntallon To sle/Presenrotlon
Totals
And the winne(
Beef
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
1·2
Cajun C hicken
7
9
7
5
5
b
7.3
7.7
l :i
Chicken
7
7
7
(,
8
7
7.3
6.7
14
Chicken Mushroom
5
5
6
6
5
5
6.3
6.3
12.6
Chicken Sesame
6
9
5
9
(,
9
57
9
14 .-
Comments by the Eaters:
Chicken Vegetable
7
7
6
5
7
6
6 .7
(,
12. -
Dan Moire- I was pretty burned out
Creamy Chick e n
9
9
5
8
')
5
87
8.3
t7
Oriental
b
(,
(,
5
(,
4
6
S
II
Picante Beef
9
8
b
R
r,
B
6,;-
8
14 -
Pork
5
b
7
7
11
7
7.7
b ./
14 .4
Shrimp
6
4
b
.,
(,
(,
6
.,
II
Smoked Ham
8
7
')
7
')
7
5
-
15 f
Teri yaki Chick en
7
7
8
-
5
r,
h. /
on Ramen, and I thought I'd given it
up .. , Creamy Chicken brought me
back. I needed thickness and
creaminess, and that's exactly what I
got.
Paul Kwackateuchus- Let me tell
-
you about Ramen ... Fuck Ramen l
Tim Gillespie- You have to ask
yourself ... "Self. what is a 10?" A 1
is perfection. A 10 is the am. A 10
is Ingrid Bergman. No Ramen will
ever be Ingrid Bergman.
a
~
RAMEN GRAND CHAMPION ................. . .. ... .............. .. ..
Mr. Gillespie
contemplates.
• Rates as low as $35.00 a month,
• Top security with coded electronic gate and
on-site manager.
• Great location! Cooper Pt. Rd, next to HarleyDavidson.
13.·1
~
CREAMY CHICKEN
PRES ENTA liON
lASH
[ ve ~ Clndv
I 10 5
610 7
B
Lip Sm Jc klrl Good
Il
9
Mouth VV.ltcnn g
'J
In edlb lp 10 Blond
I 10 5
Raw Rilmf'n
An Adequ,lfP Sn.lck
G 107
No t
5urrnsII1giy TJ SIV
Mrrm'
h
I S.
Mmm~ Guod~
IlilV('
YOU (,Ilte n
you r R~'m('n tortlY?
Chart prepared by Tim Gillespie after thorough scientific research
rr=======================================-~
Rent for 2 months,
get the 3rd month
Cf)nU..-atulatif)ns tf) the
FREE!
1C)C)S e,.-aduates!!
Reserve your unit now!
From the staff of Cooper's Glen
Automall Mini Storage
1825 Cooper Rd. SW
352-8055
Apartments
the Cooper Point Journal
.".
June 4, 1998
I
I
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
CALVIN
continued from page 10
Calvin: Yeah, it depends. Most people,
they kind of know what they want and they do
it. Sometimes its more free form, like when
working with the Make Up. Often times we
bouce ideas off each other in terms of the
structure ofthe songs.
Ethan: When you started making the Dub
Narcotic studio, did you find yourself with a
microphone and some tape and say, 'Hey, I've
got a studio,' or did you set out to create a
studio?
Calvin: I'd been aquiring various pieces
of equipment over the years and then I wanted
to have a studio, so I threw it all in the
basement...
Ethan: Did you originally envision the
studio as someplace for you to work on your
own stuff primarily, or did you envision it as a
facility to record for K?
Calvin: Well, all those things ... (the
recorder failed to pick up the complete answer
to my question, unfortunately.)
Ethan: So, which came first, Dub Narcotic
Sound System or the Dub Narcotic Studio?
Calvin: Yeah, they both kind of came
together at the same time.
Ethan: I was listening to this Lee 'Scratch'
Perry record last night that was a collection of
dub recordings he made in the mid '705. Mostly
stuff from B-sides. I know it when I hear a dub
recording, but I'm not sure how tbey're made.
,
The New Adventures of the
TITANIC
Can you explain it?
Calvin: What I was inspired by, is ... well,
the idea is taking this recording of a song, and
turning it into another song purely by the
recording itself, rather than through
songwriting. It seems like a sort of postmodem
idea, but it originated in jamaica. One of the
things that I found most inspirational about it,
besides that it was intoxicating musically, was
the fact that they ... had very little in the studios
at all to work with and yet they could make it
turn out so magical. And [really liked that idea
of making a recording, and working with you
limitations to create something beyond what is
available anywhere else. It was mainly for the
D.j.s to use to talk over, and to promote the
songs ... to have unique versions of songs that
were popular, so that people would go to that
sound system, because that was the only place
they could hear this version. So there was
already a plethora of reasons, of uses for it,
besides standing alone as a song.
by Ryan Buck and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
Our conversation continued, covering a
number of other subjects that either weren't
recorded or don't fit in this space. He told me
he wasn't entirely sure why K Records is called
K Records, but that if he were naming it now,
he might pick a different name. He also
mentioned there are times when he wants to do
something else. Filmmaking and silk screening
are mentioned, but the thing he would most like
tu do is, as I mentioned at the start of the article,
nothing. Who'd have figured?
Selector Dub Narcotic is reviewed below.
LAiER ...
A splendid scrapbook compilation
by Jennifer Koogler
Ace record reviewer
Compilations are great, aren't they? Sure,
some are pathetic, but the best ones are like
mix tapes someone made just for you and your
listening needs. My latest discovery, Selector
Dub Narcotic, fits my bill perfectly.
Se/eclor Dub Narcotic is the brainchild
of music guru Calvin johnson (of K Records,
Dub Narcotic Sound System, Beat Happening,
Halo Benders, and just about everything else)
who just happens to have a studio called Dub
Narcotic. He brought together 23 previously
unreleased songs recorded at the studios by
various artists from 1993 to now. The result is
nuthing but splendid.
The album begins with "Love is" by KG
(th at's Tae from Kicking Giant along with
members of the Dub Narcotic Sound System),
a laid back soft rock ballad, indie style. We
then hear from our "hosts" for the duration,
Dub Narcotic, and their usual groove. Ca lvin
wa rns us this new platter will make yuu "da nce
li ke a banshee." Dub Narcotic ('omes back in
the middle of the album to check in on the
groovin ' and sends liS off at the end with a
The
smile.
Every song on this record is great, so it's
hard to know just where to start talking about
it. Black Anger Movement's "Ra-N-Untut' is a
freestyle rap/hip hop jam by artists on the
Classic Elements compilation
(another excellent collection
out on K) that jolted me
up from my computer
and propelled me
sliding around the
floor. "Hang 'Em
High" by Star
Athena has some
coo l
Cas io
sounds, a bassy
guitar, and her
neat low cool
-SELECTOR'
·OUB-NARCOTIC·
v
0
I ce
.
"AmbulallCe Driver
Blu es"
couples
Amanda and Pete from
Heavenly, Scott from
Built to Spill and Calvin's vocal
styl ings on a true pop gem that will
inspire the patented Oly Dance Move in many.
Miranda july's "The Co-Star" spoken word
Ave
N ow serving cocktails!
June 7
June 5
Robertson and Connors
June 6
Maria Muldaur
•
.
..
fever heads straight into "Blues Explosion
Attack" by the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion.
This is perhaps my favorite track on the album,
ifonly forthefirst minute and a half that kicks
ass. The drums start rolling and Mr.
Spencer starts up with the
"Calling Dr. Johnson ... I
need help!' and you
just can't stop the
headbanging
action. The song
goes on a little
too
long,
perhaps, but it
packs a punch .
Not to be
outdone,
"Verbigeration"
by No.1 (Son-E
from
Dead
Presidents) feeds off
the Blues Explosion
groove with a funk/hip
hop sound and jen Smith's
sweet sounding "Inkling"
follows suit.
"Go Sonics" is by Tommy is are better
Mick Overman
June 10
Tuesday
Server Night
Watch the
NBA
finals
*
known as Lois and Carrie Brownstein from
Sleater-Kinney. The combination of Lois'
lovely voice and Carrie's lovely guitar stylings
are pure joy. I hope to hear more from the duo
in the future.
The album continues with the Bob
Mould-esque Jason Traeger and the poppy
Bartlebees singing in German (cause that's
where they are from). Local resident artist and
Greener alum Nikki McClure sings
"Procreate," a pro breeding anthem. Beck
brings us "Close to God," a distorted tune that
sounds nothing like the slick Ode/ay critics
drool over. My first listening of "On the
Avenue" by Howardian made me think it was
"I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany, but it's
not. Calvin and company come back at the end
warning "selector dub narcotic, yeah you can't
stop," and you don't want to.
I've listened to my copy of this album
about four times now, and each time I find
somethi ng else to praise. The effort and talent
of the musicians is very apparent, giving it a
laid back feel, like some friends just got
together to record some sounds and make an
album. I have a feeling Selector Dub Narcotic
will provide a great soundtrack for the summer.
I
~ ~~c:, <:, ~
~ ~\cf\ ~
\ 'rf\
i(\.eq, -;e \ w~\·0
\ ;~ c. ('{\.C(yoO (\-.'1
c~ ~'Nln-Q ~\\e..
'(.oJ a..\\ 'c~S5 IY'\..j
C\.SS ~ t'rq-i?
,'" 0'
OPEN 7 DAYS
*
TONS OF
COOL
*
•
CUSTOM ART
EXPERTS
JEWELRY
Now
Serving
New Castle
on Tap
*
.10%OFF
FRIENDLY
AND PRIVATE
WITH
STUDENT 10
~---------...
THRUJUNE
In the House with Steve Adopted
Munger
home of
Sunday - Bloody (Mary) Sunday with Lightning Joe
Sunday Night-Thunder hosts The Simpsons
and King of the Hill
Pool Darts
Happy Hour
Daily Beer Full Kitchen
Cribbage
with Daily
4-7 pm
Specials
Backgammon
Specials
Micros $2
Sonkat
Productions
u '•
LTEREfJ
Thursday
Night Blues
-----"
;-
Jams
the Cooper Point Journal
-12-
June 4, 1998
the Cooper Point Journal
.
-13.
"
);«'\
June 4,1998
I
1
i
I
C
vter Lab
OH, KI 0 AttJUS IS T
At-J'(nWv l1 WE CAN 00 FoR
~W? ANY1lIIN'?
IT F
?LE,,~E, MILLY SINl\
BLAME IT 0 N THE RAiN
DNLJ: MoRt ...
1
f· ..
I~
FIN'S~~D.'
YfAH/ MA!
ALMoST
THE lAY PELL CH£CK (
CAASlltDOM 6VAL WEIK
W~[N
CARTOONISTS GRADUATE
& Millie
\'Unlike grownups, children
have litU~ ne.ed to deceive
themselves."
-Go~the
..
~"h1I#I/t/PiI/!1)) r
1/4/.
/;
the Cooper PointJourna/
-14-
June 4,1998
..
yea:r~s
The
fi:.-1al
Seasonal Evaluation of
Evergreen
""he ll students arrive at Evergreen
Last Call at the Andy Warhol
Bar and Grill
in thc la s t week or Septemher,
the run and rrcedllll1 Ill' s umm er da ys
they only can rcmemhcr.
Th c trccs Ihat line Ihc parkway
s till hold Iheir lu s h g re e n Ica ves,
all Ihi, Illindk" d" lI l' llI).! "roull d
c mbrac in g s ummer ' s long, warm da y'
the
gone as last it hreathes ,
Id
WU I
h~I'" g\)lll' 10
(1\)P
:-.uprl.'JIlL'
,n Ihl' I' t' hl 1111 ",hell I<> dilll'
As if tll drop u s hints
or what is yet to co m c,
wl'ckly rain s lorms leav e
~"
\Vl' hCl' a llll' I
LI S
soaking wet anu numb,
and I hecallll' YOII
A s uhl le s hift o r co lm
hUIll o l 1I '" ill Uni t y (Ihe hit' wmu Ih;lln" "nl' C;11l dl'rine)
when leave s r;Jd e green 10 ye l low ,
hut till' voiC l' l,'" \ 1 a dd ed III y,,1 (a ' impk Ilw"n 01 lime)
thl' trees s h e d light upon the .'1 fOund
thai leaves us warm and mellow,
I
W ~ 11l1 ttl PllIil':-.t
Bul Ihen without a warning
tili . . Ill o linl1 tila' it i ...
l ' lL'\ L' (
wi lh ye llow barely spread,
,,'ur,"
II I ,illlply pla y " ilh
Ih e ca mpu s brealhes I" I ire
0 1 lilt.' Ilull lH I ,11;1 1 1111111011 t ' ,t ll
hL'
lI\l'd
th e rin y orange and r"d,
\I" I1 C II '\l' \\ ,1111 \\~ll . . h III .., hlll \.'
"\ ,1\ 1. S, I I II \\
, I'
Th ruu ~! h Ih " rair y land
alight with nanling
..
11. 1.... I W ~ l\llll· S , dll' lIl' \
h tJ I
bu l
,I
111 H ( ' ! Illll' .1 ... 111 ,I
('''''le' , I '
"'al"
trl.·L· ....
th;ll spread their s pa, " , till II II )! 11 I,,,,
S k ,' p \ hn' ,illl e I )" pn'
,md I{ h\ Ill,' 11L'c': Ulll'
WL'
w ilh Ihe lillo/ "gl'nlle hrce/l' ,
('n 1l 11'
1\ 11.. . lk I1ll' ~I [H)I'
( ; I [~ll l l l'
r ... l lll p k I i B e
And
")(111
Ih l' hi anl' h'l's reach
)
Iheir IIk c, arc skyward
II I VIII,,"nl 1\\ 11:11 l ' lll doin.'1 lo lh" l" l' ll y l illie' Illlll d)
har~ ,
las l c lin.'1in .'1 rlame~ thai one ll,i)!IlI IlIllI
are
Thl" ' Vl' d,a\\llll1l' ,I,,"k, llnl\Ltnlyn
darll11~ ( ' ,":-'lI
rar ;Illd rare ,
Siorming skies Ihey hUlld a nd hrl'\\
allllCrll c' lIic'd Ihe Kint'
hut
s~atlered
and hrin.'1 Iheir wralh rull d"wn,
Llnln"-
cXlin.'1uishl' s s mall name s o r leaves
Ih ;11 M ,C" e\ wlln ' l dl'l' Iinc
and wash th e red to hrown,
The rllliing lea ves arl' ra cked lik e mud
h y rain Ihat fal" in sheel.s,
a~ Virilic hlT~llnl' Ih l' E llelll ),
th e pil es line eve ry road si de cu rb
a nd My'"'fY ila, hecollle the ()hject
but not Ohi,'cI;" In Ohjel'l or My A lleditln t",hl'n Itlvl' is lrul y blilldl
the groundpcrson's winlcr feal.
but Ohll'l' l as ,n Prllle,1 (Ihat oh.lel' leu Illlhi, linel
II see ms Ihal nol a c lear s k y's SlTil
ror all Ihe winlcr days,
an e ndk ss scape nr hare IlInb Irees
ThC'fL" \ ~ 11\vI ... t tu cVl'ry l'~ltdl ph, ;' I;"l'
, \ P0L'1ll
alllJ Le"
in ('\'t.:r y
thruugh winters WalL'ry h i. I/~ .
l' l i in e
Ju , 1 whC:1l ;"1 se n se of s anil Y
h ;" I,,,' ''l'd him s e lr ill lil l' halh"",,"
,ecms hopc \c " and quit e I",t.
a limiu sun break, Ih ro u g h Ih l' L'Io ud s
N il " Ih e \\I",d h;" hl',',llllL' IhL' Wmld
aTlu winter is acco st ,
III IhL' I I hal hn';II11L' IhL' \\le'
The le ng th nClwccn e~ l L' h ra in " torln gr(J\\,~
Wll L'n She bq'al I Ie
and soon w e havl' wilole wee k s,
hili nlll lie;"
1JlII.' I I It!L'llt.' L·
hut I il' cL ~
III
Ikalhc'n ' ("h ,1l "l' c alled Ihl' Illdian s
1<11'
when s un s hin e wann, and L1ri~s lile g rnullli
I;ll' k or
at last ii 's spring Ihal Sl1l';lk s ,
til defille,
In '
JIc \
l 'Olll l" t! U \, !...· I lU I
dinller ' tJlI~t IP
urin" . . p III !.... ".,·ill C')
e rl'en s pla sh e, horn e o r ground allli 1''Cl'
arc nurlured hy Ihe sun ,
inirequcill ra in 1<"; wc IL- u lil e
Ill ) \\
, lI Ih,' VI ,' Ih, ll IlirIl"d III I Ie ,II1d Shl'
a ~ w inl cr l 'P lll l'" 1I1lLill1l1.' .
111:" 'C' pa , ;lie''' II ll' IIn' L' I',lrahk
Sup n campus ri I Is w i Ih fra)!r:1I11 11 0\"""
t ll.lt
I
Ill.· \l'r t hpll ~ " Il"\ lIdd
he
IllUll'
s pla sh e d in cn lors hright.
and w hen Ihe s un l' Iimh , ili t' h
Nl)\\
))i\'l'r~ lt y h ~ I "" h L'L' \llllL' ;1 Cat L' 1l Phr;l . . L·
Ih ey' re s lain e d .'1 Ia" w ind ows in Ihe li g ht.
'" '1'11;111" -\1111 hl'cd ill e Fuc"'11 Ilil l' h
Through th c ,wce t dawn a ir
dnd \Vant hec ;IIn e \ Vallle d
a dozcn Robins swing,
h il i n o l Wan lL'd a " in Wanl Ad " (w hich We ,ca ll Iro m IIJl1 e-l<l-l im c)
s quirrels dancing up Ihc tree Irunks
hUI VVantl'd a, In Ad di c led (w hich we wan l more IhanlOl'Xpdnd "ur
mind,)
II', ;"1 hCL'llJlle a crap, Iw ol
IW W
Page this year: thank you, thank you a
But as we near Ihe quarter' s end
thousand times, Thanks as well to all
working hard to mcel eac h day ,
next year's See Page comes your way,
and hroc co li bedisjusl alliteralllln 10 Ihi s nation
NO "" ' III{/"." (Il1d
as the ruby Rohins s ing ,
who have taken the time to read, Until
thai C amph e ll ', co m es in c hunk y
Ihal' s n ever heal'll III !J{/nll'\', S(/g",
To all those who submitted to the See
wc nolil:c that one thing ' s th e sa m e
the sc hool is still dull gray,
Through the pass ing or Ihc seaso n s
Tln'lIlI',
be well and may the summer months
treat you with all the kindness you
- Tak Kendrick 'in()/') X
1
deserve_
the students all sorely l;Jment
the perso n who l'ame in the '70s
to mix that firSI bal c h of cement.
Have you e vcr wanted to paint the sc h on l?
David
,
I
peace love empathy
- Caitlin Steegc
I
@'Jur hear!fol gratItude !foes out to po", the contributors
The Cooper Point Journal staff would like to dedicate this page to all those who
contributed their thoughts, time and talents to the paper throug.hout the year.
Don't see your name here? Never fear, because next year there wIll b: eve~ more
exciting issues of the CPJ for you to share your thoughts and feelIngs In.
Aaron Huston
Abigale Ada Beeley
Abraham Abegaz Husson
Adrian Scott
Adrian Wulff
Alan G. Nasser
Alec Hamilton
Alex Crick
Alex Edrojewski
Alex Kostelnik
Amber Rack
Amy Best
Amy Loskota
Andrea Taubm en
Angelique Velasco
Ann Alquist
Ann Petricola
Ann Storey
Anne Kellor
Anne Peterson
Barni Quasim
Basil Shadid
Becka Tilsen
Ben Friedlander
Ben Kincade
Bill Hashim
Brandon Galvez
Brenna Flood
Brian A. Ridder
Brian Wood
Bridgett Harrington
Caitlin Dunipace
Carrie Hiner
Casteen O'Neill
Cedar Burnett
Cedar Johnson
Char Simons
Charlene Cole
Charlie O.
Chris Dixon
Chris Gray
Chris Story
Christa bel Fowler
Christopher Lee Wolfe
Chuck McKinney
Colin Helsley
Connie Bradley
Cooter Haw
Cory MacDonald
Courtney Aiken
Craig Shell
Cristin Carr
D.E. Lamb
Damian Werner
Dan Scholz
Daniel Gardner
Daniel Morton
Daniel Strothman
Dave Rottersman
Dave Scheer
David Ball
David Boudinot
David Lenustrom
David Simpson
David Taylor
Dawn Hanson
Debbie Butler
Deirdre Coulter
Dennis Lanigan
Diane M. Frank
Dianne Conrad
Donna Simon
Dr. Cerebrus
Dru Schillinger
E. Thomas
Ed Gibbs
Eitan Kassel Yanich
Elizabeth Ellis
Elizabeth Russo
Elizabeth Thomas
Ellen Marie Hinchcliffe
Ellisa Frantz
Eric Jensen
Eric Leuschner
Eric Meltzer
Erica Tollefson
Er ika K. Janson
Erika Reinstein
Eryn Hurlburt
Ethan Jones
Evelyn O'Connor
Francis Raven
Gary Love
Gene Breithenbach
Gina Coffman
G reg Skinner
Greg Smith
Gregg Esptein
Heather Gingerich
Heidi Eckel
Hillary Niles Rossi
J. Brian Pitts
J. Murphy
J.E. Pelar
Jacinta McKoy
Jacob Hendrickson
Jane Jervis
Janette Parent
Jason Krough
Jay Winston Roca
Jeannette AILee
Jeffery Denison
Jenn Brown
Jenn Nash
Jennica Born
Jennifer Ahrens
Jennifer Koogler
Jennifer Schmitt
Jeremy Rice
Jesse Feuerstein
Jessica Cottom
Jessica L. Avant
Jimmy Mateson
Jodi Woodall
Joe DeNardo
Joe Groshong
Joe O'Connell
John Evans
John McGee
Johnathan Brogger
Jonny Fink
Josh Knisely
Josh Streufert
Julie Jackson
Justin Umholtz
Kamala Butler
Kamya Lindquist
Kasey Crimmins
Kate Longley
Kate Randolph
Ka thryn Lewis
Kathy Craig
Katrina J. Ledre
Katy Johnson
Keith Warnick
Keith Weaver
Kelley Schei
Kevin Ward
Kim Nguyen
Kim Pohlman
Kristen.Mira
Lara Littlefield
Larry Mosqueda
Laura Grabhorn
Lauren Adams
Lee Lambert
Lee O'Connor
Leigh Cullen
Leslie Rollins
Leslie Stender
Lia Gilbert-Bardeen
Lia Wallon
LisaNa Red Bear
Lori Lawrence
Lorna Chang
Lynn Erickson
Lyra Kilston
Maggie Ragatz
Maldon Meehan
Marc McGary
Marianne Settles
Mark Muller
Marta Aguilar
Martin Guiles
Mary Craven
Mason James McGraw
Mat Probasco
Matt Love
Matthew Bauer
Matthew Campell
Matthew Gullranson
Ma tthew Merwin
Maya Kurtz
Megan Davis
Michelle Reiner
Michelle Synder
Mike Louisell
Mike Wheeler
Milt Sanders
Miriam Howard
Monique McLeod
Monkey
Monto Shan Morton
Nathan Bowser
Nicholas Stavish
Nick Guidoux
Nick Mitchell
Nicole McNutt
Nicole Peterson
Nik Friedman
Oak Young
Pam Toal
Patrick Mouton
Patrick Murphy
Patrick Piazza
Patrick Winkler
Paul Gallegos
Penn Warner
Pete Steilberg
Peter Berkley
Peter Kennedy
Phil Howard
Qy-Ana Mannig
Rachel Kempf
Radha Sosienski
Randy Engstrom
Raquel Salinas
Richard Myers
Rob Ludgate
What a 10
Compiled by Jen Koogler
Lame duck editor
Robert Casey
Robert Walker
Robin Preciso
Rosalinda Noriega
Rozey Catania
Rudy Sookairsingh
Russ Quiet
Russel Monroe
Ruth Brownstein
Ryan Buck
S.A. Kooyman
Sal Occhino
Sam Pullen
Sam Trechter
Sara Holt
Sara King
Sara Lampo
Sarah Ashley
Sarah Garmite
Sarah M. Vekasi
Scott Elliot
Sean Horton
Selah Thuresson
Selene Alice
Seth Rubinstein
Shawn Samuel
Shirley Smith-Moore
Shoren Brown
Skye Finney
Soctia Stebbins
Sonja Sivesind
Sonny Krishnamurti
Stacia Lewis
Starr Farris
Stephani E. CrezEe
Stephanie Funk
Stephanie Guilloud
Stephanie Jollensten
Stephanie Rose
Steve Hughes
Steve Oliver
Stuart Greene
Summer Thomas
Summer Thomas
Sunny Richardson
Susan Mishler
Suzanne Skaar
Sylvan Bonin
I.e. Bixenmann
Tak Kendrick
Tan-ya Gerrodette
Tanya Cheeke
Tanya Mendenhall
Teressa Hamje
Terrance Becht
The Structure of Life program
Thomas Deem
Tiffany Tudder
Tim Bartels
Tim McLeod
Tish Pinho
Toby Schroder
Todd Denny
Tom Bozeman
Trevor Pyle
VaunMonroe
Vendel e. Herbito
Vita Lusty
Whitney Buschman
... and everyone you
see in this issue
Well kids, it's the end of yet another
school year. If you're like me, you noticed this
year has gone by super fly fast. So to remind
you just how action packed and fun filled the
'97-'98 school year was, we at the CPJ bring you
the Year in Review, recapping the best from all
the issues we labored to bring you. Enjoy.
SEPTEMBER 19, 1997
THE ORIENTATION ISSUE
The first issue of the year brought you a
thorough tour of the campus, a run down of
the student groups (like the CPJ) and services
(like the Health Center) available to students.
Layout editor Gary Love also provided us wilh
a glossary of Greener terms.
OcrOBER 2, 1997
We are the best in the West, according to
U.S. News and World Report, so don't think
you wasted your time and money on a "hippy
school." Amber Rack's weekly feature "A
Closer Look" debuted on the cover, because it
is a cool idea and we didn't have any other
photos to put there. We mourned the deaths
of two Evergreen staff members, Registrar Judy
Huntley and Admission's Anh Allen.
The CPJ year in review
NOVEMBER 13, 1997
The Union of Student Workers held a
rally this week to raise awareness of the
conditions we who work on campus face, like
not getting paid enough to alw. y
renl and
id only
buy food at the same time and b
once a month. Several stude
roups came
together to conduct forums on internalized
racism. Tanya Cheeke of the Evergreen Animal
Rights Network reminded us that
Thanksgiving is a time of carnage.
NOVEMBER 30, 1997
Amber Rack told us all about EPICs use
of Giant Puppets for Social Change this week
for the APEC protest. Jacob Wooton, master
illustrator, gave us the real picture of the
computer center. Cory MacDonald (master
basketball player) and John Evans (master
basketball fan) gave us a preview of the tirst
Evergreen basketball season. Adrian Wulff
enlightened A&E fans of the Bluegrass scene
at Clancy's, which would later become The
Piper's Lady tavern .
DECEMBER 4, 1997
ocrOBER 9,1997
A vigil for World AIDS Day was held that
My personal favorite sub head of the year week out on Red Square. Housing residents
"Young and old enjoy eating, dancing, and ' were finally able to watch the Cartoon
slicing into gourds," appeared with a story on Network, thanks to the wiring project. Scotia
the Organic Farm's annual Harvest Festival. Stebbins talked about the chemicals in
There was also a story on the Native art in the chocolate in the science column. Also this
Longhouse, background on Coming Out Day, week was the 15 suggestions for basketball to
the first column by the Evergreen Math and be more "Evergreen" as the men's team
Science network (it was about Mad Cow celebrated their first victory. Ethan Jones
Disease). A&E broughl us a review of the reviewed Posy Ken Stringfellow's solo album
downtown Olympia ArtWalk by staff writer This Sounds Like Goodbye. Chris Gray gave
Kathryn Lewis and the first horoscopes by us suggestions for Christmas presents in the
Mason McGraw. Also seen that week was lhe SeePage.
now famou s SeePage by Ethan Jones.
DECEMBER 11, 1997
ocrOBER 16, 1997
Dave Scheer lold us about the plans for
Larry Savage, who was fired from Police a forest canopy walkway in the woods behind
Services over the summer, began his epic legal the Library. Princess Talks A Lot gave a show
struggle to get his job back today. Staff writer out on Red Square about the importance of
Tak Kendrick showed us how Housing carpooling and preserving natural resources.
residents would soon get free cable and Cory MacDonald told us what it was like to go
Ethernet access. A&E gave us the full lowdown on the road with the basketball team. David
on the Olympia Film Festival while future Simpson started "I Wrote This," a politically
Comics editor Dan-O Scholz eu logized John themed and often humorous column.
Denver.
JANUARY 15, 1998
OcrOBER 23, 1997
Yeehaw!! After a long winler's nap, the
After years of protests, debates, and CPJ returned under a blanket ofsnow. Kathryn
arguments, Police Services started carrying Lewis told us about a string of drug busts in
those guns they have from 6 p.m to 8 a.m. each the dorms, Larry Savage got his job back, while
day. Patrick Mouton, co-coordinator of Lee Lambert and Peter Kennedy discussed
UMOJA, wrote a letter about the questionable Martin Luther King Day. The Billwatch page
practices of the Thurston County Sheriff's returned this week to keep us all updated on
Department in dealing with his roommate's what those sneaky legislators are up to. The
stolen vehicle.
SeePage was allegedly canceled lhat week due
to snow.
OcrOBER 30, 1997
Robert Walker staged a one man protest JANUARY 22, 1998
outside the Parking booth this week against the
More snow this week, only not in nature.
arming of guns on campus, complete with a Photo editor Greg Skinner gave us a close up
media frenzy Walker started by informing view of Mt. Rainier. In the L&O section,
most local TV stations and papers. The new Terrance Becht talked about the bad rap
members of the S&A Board were introduced. Christians often get, especially around here.
The impending Halloween holiday prompted WashPIRG was also allowed to stick around on
a historical perspective by Kathryn Lewis and campus for two more years, after a stu den l
a "spooky" edition of the Calendar.
vote.
NOVEMBER 6, 1997
Thieves made off with electronics
equipment from Lecture Halll lhis week. Beat
poet Gary Synder visited the campus this week,
along with a great jazz concert by the Darrius
Willrich Quintet. Dr. Cerebrus made his debut
this week in the L&O section, bringing wisdom
to us all. Swim team member Amy Best wrote
abo ut the upcoming aquatic racing season. Paul
Gallegos reminded us all to remember th ose
who've served our country on Veterans Day.
JANUARY 29, 1998
Chinese New Year was celebrated
outside the Library this week with dancers
and other festiviti es. The Union of Students
with Disabilities talked abou t the hidd en
disabilities in our society. Christa bel Fowler,
former swim team member and current
comic artist, wrote about the swim learn 's
final home meet. In A&E, a roundtable
discussion pondered the soc ial relevance of
Spice World.
FEBRUARY 5, 1998
We heard student opinion about the Day
of Absence/Presence this week, along with a
preview of the events. The women '5 bJsketball
team won their only game that season thi s
weeK. We delved into the treasures inlhe Rare
Book room. visiled the protest against 1·200
(the anti-affirmative action law) at the Capitol.
lived the life of a swimmer, and pondered the
money making mJchine known as Titanic.
FEBRUARY 12, 1998
Love was in the air as lhose people who
paid us $1 for 30 or so word s saw their
professions oflust, love, fr iendship, and such
on the LoveLines page, celebrating the most
evil of holidays. Andrea Taubman and Lia
Gilbert-Bardeen began the epic story of lhe
women's rugby team's attempl to travel to New
Orleans. Adrian Scott leflus with a great poem
on the L&O pages. In A&E, Suzanne Skaar
talked to Greener prof! sci-fi writer Tom
Maddox aboul his X-Files episode.
FEBRUARY 19, 1998
Trevor Pyle, our ad rep who sometimes
moonlights as a reporter, focused on the
women's basketball team this week. Ethan
Jones helped us celebrate National Condom
Week by drawing a ribbed one on the clock
tower photo. The amazing staffwriter Hillary
Rossi told us how the Board of Trustees didn't
want students to have a voting member
amongst them. Punk rock correspondent
Jonny Fink interviewed Gaze, a way cool band
from Canada that carne to town.
FEBRUARY 26, 1998
The vegetarian/ vegan population
suffered a blow this week when the Corner Cafe
was shUl down. due to lack of revenu e.
Mounting tension in Iraq made us all think we
were going to war again, leading to a protesl
in Sylvester Park downtown and a letter by
faculty member Larry Mosqueda. John Evans
mused over the Academy's Oscar nominations.
MARCH 5, 1998
Steve Thomas, alum and host of "This
Old House" rappelled down the clock tower
this week during a nostalgic trip to campus.
Leigh Cullen shared with us the security
problems plaguing F·lo!. Stephanie Rose and
Tanya Mendanhall reminded us all to
participate in random acts of kindness. David
Simpson talked to President Jane Jervis about
1-200's effects on Evergreen.
e
en • ••
USW coordinator, questioned the firing
of a Parking employee.
APRIL 16, 1998
Greg Skinner took us on anolher
snowy journey lhis week with lhe
Greener annual trek up the side of Mt.
Ellinor. Housing residents learned their
rent will go up next yea r. Eric
Leuschner talked about the Kung Fu
club . Severa l Polilical Economy
students exp ressed concern over the
recent faculty hiring. Ethan Jones
conversed over bagels with Ca rri e
Brownstein (no relation to RlIth) from
Sleater-Kin ney.
APRIL 23, 1998
Suzanne Skaar gave us a first hand
account of what it's like to be in the
Procession of the SpeCies parade, held
annually during Artwalk in Olympia.
Hillary Rossi recapped the Take Back
the Night March with Rosalinda
Noreiga. KAOS celebraled a successful
pledge drive. The Spring Arts Festival
inserl lold us all aboul the Urban Arts
Expo, Cinco de Mayo, the Northwest
Butoh Festival and the Northwest
International Gay and Lesbian Film
Feslival.
MAY7,1998
Next year, I.T. (lnlercity Transit)
will give out free bu s passes for
studenls. We rem inded everyone to
vote for the first voting student mem ber
of the Board of Trustees. Elhan Jones
(writer)
and
Amber
Rack
(photographer) shared their Spring
Break adventure on the Green Tortoise
bus with us. Tak Kendrick eulogized
Black Panther Eldrigde Cleaver. The
comic "Saljokes" provided readers with
a free Mother's Day card.
MAY 14, 1998
The Organic Farm cart is back in
business in all its produce/foliage
splendor. We asked you to write in YOllr
concerns about Evergreen , which some
of you did . We previewed Evergreen's
tlrst Science Fair, which was a great
success. Stephanie Jollensten and
Evelyn O'Conllor filled us in on the
Gardenburger boycott we've been
hearing so much about. John Evans
toured Olympia's alcoholic beverage
watering holes (the dorms excluded) in
the A&E section.
MAY21,1998
Students who are trying to
establish a chapter of the Washington
Student Lobby here asked for your help.
Fulure editor in chief Mat Probasco
informed us about light pole
vandalization. Features editor Michelle
Synder talked about the display of
Asian art in the CAB. The SeePage
featured a fashion spread that originally
ran in the CPJ in 1970. Things haven't
changed th al much ...
MARCH 12, 1998
Finally. finally, finally, students in
Housing hooked up to ResNet this week. Lia
Wallon filled us in on the Jewish Cultura l
Center's workshop on Jewish identily.
Billwatch editor (among other things) Tak
Kendrick wrapped up the 1998 Legislalive
season for us. complete with illustrations by
Sal Occhino. In L&O , we looked at the
controversy surrounding the photos by faculty
member Bob Haft and Stefani Crez ee in the
lit era ry magazine Slightly West. On th e MAY28,1998
SeePage was slaff photographer Alex Crick's
Ifyo u don'l remember back lo last
farewell to Evergreen photo essay.
week , let me refresh yo ur lIIemory.
Michelle Synde r wrote about lh e
APRIL 9,1998
attempts to get a Native Sludies Center
We began Spring quarter wondering why on campus . Amy Loskota laid down the
the UW Daily (lhe paper lip at th e University laws of the free box. David Simpson
of Washington) thought it was funny to put out gave out awards in his coluilln for lhe
an April Fool's day issue with headline "Bundy best of the year. We also talked about
Copycat strikes Evergreen campus." Ha ha. lhe Capi tol Theater backstage concert
Hillary Rossi explored the site for the new area controversy.
Seminar building (right by the CAB inbetween
the COM building and C-Iot). David Simpson
Well, that's it. Are you still here?
talked to David Mixner, former Clinton Guud. Th,mk you fur reading the CPI
advisor, about things and sluff Becka Tiben, this year. We hope you liked it.
Name: Trevor 'T-dog" Pyle
Who he is: Ad representative bringin' in all sorts of dough
Last seen selling ads.
Distinguishing marks/phrases: Known for his rugged good
looks. H is favorite phrase is "I'm just
kick in ' it old-school style."
Crime committed: Watching too many
movies with either "blood" or "bikini"
in the ti tIe
Special skills: Selling ads, playing
PlayStation, reading and writing. T-dog
don't sing or dance. He once watched
ESPN for 37 consecutive hours.
Affiliations with crime families/
organizations: "Lord of the Dance."
A
Name: TinTin aka Cristin Carr
Who she is: Circulation managing connoisseur
Last seen making wedding arrangements at the 24-Hour Church of Elvis.
Distinguishing phrases: "You're coming to Karaoke, right?", "( should marry
Minnie Driver so I can be Cristin Carr Driver and she can be Minnie Driver Carr."
Crime committed: As Circulation manager she was repeatedly caught inserting
ant i-American propaganda into the papers she sent to alleged CPJ "subscribers."
Special skills: Applying adhesive to newsprint and being CPJ Karaoke Queen 1998.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: Rumored to be moving to the Lake
City Retirement Home for CPJ Business
Employees. This home is known to be a front
for the criminal operations of Ed Ward and J.
Brian Pitts.
t=====:=::::---=__
Name: Tak "TK42 I "
Kendrick aka The Scourge
of Microsoft, that funky looking Macintosh Toadie
Who he is: Impromptu systems manager, Layout editor,
Seepage editor, Billwatch editor
Last seen impersonating John Cusack and Rupert Everett in
several of many film roles, all while pining for Minnie
Driver and Julia Roberts.
Distinguishing marks/phrases: Goatee, tattoo of nothingness on right shoulder. Can often be heard sayi ng one of
two phrases: "I hate PageMaker'" or "Who Yah' My Kung-
® @
1997-98 C(jJJ
(Page presents ...
,
fu is the greatest."
Crime c o m m i t t e d : , .
....
Wanted for questioni!1g in
,.
"W
relation to destruction of
. .
0
0
onglnal Death Star. Accused
o.
.0
of ~andomly fixing computers in
computer center ...
Special skills: Master of sarcasm,
keeper of those wacky icons by which we navigate the
computer wasteland .
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: Rumored
to be linked to the Grosser Hit-man syndicate.
Name: Sclene Alice
Who she is: Copy editor of amazing prowess
Last seen doing unspeakable acts of disgust and desire.
Distinguishing marks: Bad hair, awful attire, a
barbell through the tongue . Often heard mumbling
sweet nothings.
Crime committed: Thinking that she knows
what she's done, acting like she's done the
right thing, and hoping for a life fulfilled.
Special skills: Can b.s. e loquent Iy.
Affiliations with crime families/
organizations: Has been connected
to fc\milies so far and wide that
they 're allover, but so secretive that you' ll ha ve no idea they're there.
Name: Vaun Monroe
Who he is: Columnist with
gumption
Last seen preparing his Oscar
speech.
Distinguishing phrase: "Peace."
Crime committed: Thought crime
Special skills: He can lick his
eyebrows. Yours, too.
Affiliations with crime families/
organizations: Crips. Rolling
Thiefies.
Pami{y
Name: David Boudinot aka Johnny Danger
Who he is: Kick-ass photographer
Last seen doing time volunteering at Olympia's
own Books to Prisoners.
Distinguishing mark/phrase: Has a bump on
one ear and always says "Excellent."
Crime committed: Outrageous procrastination.
Special skills: Surveillance, phone tappery, and
letter writing like you wouldn't believe .
Affiliations with crime families/organizations:
none.
Name: Kim "Burly"
Nguyen aka Scrappy,
Tiny Kim, Kajun Kim, An
Who she is: Longtime Layout editor
and upcoming Managing editor
Last seen purchasing cat food, cigarettes and a box of Pocky just before
flipping her car on an Oregonian
mountain pass.
Distinguishing phrases: "Bjorn's an
oaf," "Go banana," and "Did I tell you
what Monkey did last night?"
Crimes committed: Beating male
coworkers for kicks, dumping people
out of chairs for kicks, kicking people's
shins for kicks.
Special skills: Can turn any phrase/
word/gesture into a sexual innuendo, can flip a car on command and walk away with only a broken fingernail.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: Burleigh
Love, Inc.
We, at the CPJ have, have
stumbled upon the FBI
profiles of some of the
most notorious criminals
ever known to walk the
Evergreen campus. Coincidentally, they have all
spent considerable time in the Cooper Point Journal office. If
you happen upon any of these individuals, bear in mind that
they have committed heinous acts of journalism, and are likely
armed with the First Amendment and bad Simpsons references.
They are considered highly dangerous. There is no reward
offered for the capture of these ruffians. But the rewards of
joining the CPJ family are innumerable.
Name: Leigh "Birdie" CuI
aka: Dastardly and other
words ending in "Iy," Cousin
Itt, the Goddess of AP style.
Who she is: Janis-like
Managing editor of immense
strength
Last seen pushing the ad rep
over the edge with annoying
theoretical questions .
Distinguishing markS/
phrases: Scarecrow tattoo on
ankle, plastic blue donkey
around neck, unnaturally long
hair. Has been known to
commence torture sessions
with the phrase, "So you're stuck in a life raft ..."
Crime committed: Forcing friends to dance to The Full
Monty theme music .
Special skills: Can turn anything into a sexual innuendo,
can frighten anyone, any time.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: She's a
strong subscriber of the AP Bible and has been known to
hang around Burleigh Love Inc.
Name: Dave "Franco" Scheer
aka Chief
Who he is: Once , the editor in chief, Franco became the CPJ Distribution manager (i .e. paper boy) in an effort "to affect more serious
control over content" than he had enjoyed in the past.
Last seen hiding snowballs in freezers for "later."
Distinguishing phrase: "So, botulism works like
~"'_2Ij this ... "
Crimes committed: He graduated, causing his
extermination from the CPJ.
Special skills: Mixes a mean Jelly Bean ,
able to put unsuspecting victims to sleep
with long scientific exp lanations, able to
trick "friends" into playing "bag."
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: One time member of "upper editorial staff," and the RPS shipping conspiracy.
Name: Mat "Som-Bich" Probasco aka Mat
Probasketball and Fat Tony
Who he is: Newsbriefs editor guy and soon-to-be
member of the editor in chief club
Last seen quoting BI(/zing Saddles in a raised
voice. Also spelling colour with a "u."
Distinguishing marks: Brightly coloured shoes,
pasty white skin, huge invisible moustache.
Crime committed: Impersonating a News Director at KAOS, petty fraud and general contempt for
society.
Special skills: Indecent exposure, coordination of indecent exposure, laissezfaire spellingg
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: KAOS, CPJ, Notefarm
Records, Evil Sister Saloon.
Name: Peter "I wish I was
Jimmy Buffet" Berkley
Who he is: Distribution manager of paper boy fame
Last seen staying up late watching that nice televangelist on
channel 39 during Conan 0' Brien commercial breaks.
Distinguishing marks/phrases: He's wearing an exotic
Hawaiian shirt and asking pe?ple what day of the week it is.
Crime committed: Slept in a van in Shelton every Thursday morning.
Special skills: He's too busy keeping himself from being
busy to have time for any of those overrated special skills.
But he can drink multiple cans of
Coca Cola a day while keeping his
multiple teeth in his gums.
Affiliations with crime families/
organizations: He's in the process
of applying for membership in the
Frank Sinatra Family. But, as
Groucho said, "[He] wouldn't want
to be a part of any organization that
would have [him] as a member."
Name: Gary "Bumpy" Love aka
Franco, G-Love and Special Sauce
Who he is: Belated Layout editor
Last seen on a one way plane to the
heart of darkness. The horror.
Distinguishing phrase: "blah blah
blah new media journalism blah
blah blah sorta thing."
Crime committed: Stalking the
Spice Girls.
Special skills: Can wear a mean
purple jacket , being a computer
whiz without being a computer
geek.
Affiliations with crime families/
organizations: Burleigh Love, Inc.
Boulder Webmaster Militia.
Name: Amber
"Electra" Rack
Who she is: Assistant Business Manager
Last seen in conversation with the notorious
philosopher known as "Socrates."
Distinguishing phrase:
"We're all mad here."
Crime committed: A
Closer Look at Evergreen
Special skills: Hanging
upside down and turning
on lights.
Affiliations with crime
families/organizations:
THWAT!
Name: Mr. Sal Occhino aka: Bucklcs (of
Bootsy and Buckles fame)
Who he is: Cartoonist extraordi naire
Last seen packing his belongings into his
beast of a car (known on the inside as "El
Guapo") presumably splitting town out of
terror. Either that or he's finally graduating,
but we doubt that.
Distinguishing marks/phrases: often
heard saying, "Hey, know what I heard')!"
Whatever you do, do not answer. The
suspect has also been known to throw
random movie quotes into any gi ven situation. Beware of his painfully funny Admiral
Akbar.
Crimes committed: Several acts of
"funny" business. He has also killed a few
puns and is known to frequently steal jokes.
Special skill: He can embody procrastination at any time.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: He has been seen doing business
with the Act III monopoly of Olympia. We
suspect this is to feed his habit.
Name: Suzanne "Blade" Skaar
Who she is: Copy editor from the heavens
Last seen building an altar to Jim Morrison out behind the TESC Library building.
Distinguishing marks: Terminator sunglasses,
black leather jacket, and an uncanny resemblance
to Courtney Love when she first wakes up.
Crime committed: Stealing copy editing pens
from the office, using astrology as a personals ad
by inserting subliminal messages. Example"You will buy mochas for the blond 5'7" Leo you
sit next to in class."
Special skill: Can "sing" the Canadian anthem in
Pig Latin.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations:
The Norwegian Mafia. Also rumored to be a
member of the Newt Gingrich fan club.
Name: Hillary Niles
aka Cover Girl
Who she is: Crack reporter
Last seen at a meeting, any meeting.
Distinguishing phrase:
"Guess what my roommate
did now?"
Crime committed: apologizing when she has nothing
to do with it in the first place.
Special skills: The ability to
sit in five to seven hour long
meetings without falling
asleep.
Affiliations with crime
families/organizations: The
money-hoarding S&A Board.
Name: David Craig Simpson
aka The Lizard King, Captain Vegetable, a piece of ~
sputum adrift on life's fickle tide.
Who he is: Seepage editor. cartoonist, and
columnist of many words
Last seen transcending reality.
Distinguishing marks/phrases: Subject is
~
almost criminally handsome, and is frequently heard to utter: "I love the rain . It
washes memories off the sidewalk of life."
Crime committed: Gluing glitter and little
seashells to Ted Koppel.
Special skills: Can say the alphabet backwards, pick stuff up with his feet,
and spell "pomegranate" without looking it up.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: Given that the subject's
name is "Simpson," we're extremely suspicious of him.
.$
c:Js
Name: John F. Evans
Who he is: Security Blotter
conjurer
Last seen sclling out thc Family to
the Feds.
Distinguishing phrase: "Of
course, I won't put my best friend
in the Security Blotter ... "
Crime committed: Breaking the
unwritten coele of the street and
si ng in' like a bird.
Special skill: Ability to , by throw- 1.:1.:L. . . . . .
in g G-men humorous red herrings
anel not namin g names, play informant without getting bumped off.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: Grudgingly welcome in
Illostunderworlcl c irc les because of hi s famous Brooklyn recipe risotto .
Name: Greg "Hadji" Skinner
Who he is: Photo editor
galore
Last seen pulling weeds.
Distinguishing mark: A bigass tattoo on the left leg.
Crime committed: Speaking
freely.
Special skills: Handy in bank
jobs and inciting locals to
revolt.
Affiliations with crime
families/organizations: Used
to work for folks who killed a
bit here and there.
Name: Dan-O Scholz
. Who he is: Comix paste-up artist and cartoonist.
Last seen doing the Macarena.
Distinguishing marks: Andre the Giant
tattoo.
Crime committed: He ate tuna.
Special skills: He's wrestled more women
than Andy Kaufman.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: He sold acid to Jimmy Buffett's
daughter once.
Name: Jennifer "Chief'
Koogler aka: Kooglerj
Who she is: Editor in chief of the multitudes
Last seen doing ... Well, there were rumors she was into
field hockey players ...
Distinguishing phrase: "Yo! What's da haps')"
Crime committed: Giving way too much money to
Northwest Food Services.
Special skills: Doesn't need much sleep, knows assorted
music trivia, has
endured three
and a hal f years
at the CPJ.
Affiliations with
crime families/
organizations:
CPJ Karaoke
Princess '98,
CPJ Action
Committee.
•.
"
..">(
Name: Lauren "Lulu" Adams
Who she is: Letters and Opinions editor goddess
Last seen retreating into the
woods.
Distinguishing mark: Jackie-O
sunglasses.
Crime committed: Fabricated
all submissions to the L&O
page .
Special skill: Anarchy.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: The Merry
Pranksters.
Name: Ethan "The Alleged Man" Jones
Who he is: Arts and Entertainment editor
Last seen drawing pretentious comics.
Distinguishing characteristics: Birthmark on .
right hip, wears glasses, respirates, powerful
flesh shearing incisors.
Crime committed: Likes the Beach Boys .
Special skills: Filters valuable nutrients from
food, able to freak you all night.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: Boxer Syndicate, International Surrealist
Conspiracy, CPJ Action Committee.
Name: David "Binky" Ba
Who he is: Staff writer/procurer
Last seen being the Prime Minister of
Ghana.
Distinguishing marks/phrases: Scar
across left side of forehead, myriad bullet
wounds. Always says "Gotcha!"
Crime committed: Was a pol itical
assassIn.
Special skills: Temple shot, 9 mm
parabellum , at a distance of 1000 yards. No laser sighting
used, no evidence left behind.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: None.
Entirely free-lance. Have gun, will travel.
Snyder aka
Mish-Mosh
Who she is: Divinc Features editor
Last seen doing anything related to
altering the len gth, girth , and color of
her hair.
Distinguishing phrase: "Sorry. I was
in class."
Crime committed: Too heinous to
mention.
Special skills: She makes sure the
"Greenery Greeter" who says, "Yo,
what's up?" gets greeted too.
Affiliations with crime families/
Name: Maya "Mooky
organizations: Forget about it.
Wilson" Kurtz
Who she is: One mean ad proofer
Last seen washing feces from the stinky black
fur of her dog.
Distinguishing phrase: "Dude! Don't
worry about it!"
Crime committed: Smuggling Cuban cigars
from Mexico on a scootcr.
Special skill: Sleeping past noon amid a
stampede of buffalos.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations: International Smugglers for Freedom.
l
Name: Keith "Mocha Boy" Weaver
Who he is: One mean Business
Manager
Last seen on a yearlong "field-trip."
Distinguishing phrase: "Come to
the Dark Side."
Crime committed: Being a successful capitalist.
Special skill: Licensed remote
control operator.
Affiliations with crime families!
organizations: Apprenticed to the
"Man."
Files incomplete on the
following suspects:
Name:
Dianne
"Frog hat" Conrad
aka guru, Yoda
Who she is:
That advisor
type person
Last seen
mumbling
about the evils
of Microsoft
Distinguishing
marks/
phrases:
Talking
to
herself while her computer makes noises. A great
abundance of tasteful jewelry.
Crime committed: Owning a poster of Don Johnson,
and adoring it. Also dissed Revolver.
Special skills: Can talk for hours about anything,
owner of amazing superior journalistic knowledge.
Affiliations with crime families/organizations:
Former Olympian employee.
Tan-ya Gerrodette: High profile ad layout personnel.
Marianne Settles: Ad layout personnel laying low.
Aaron Huston: Calendar dude.
Kathryn Lewis: Reporter who ran off to Ireland.
Jonny Fink: Punk rock correspondent and ketchup
enthusiast.
Connie Bradley: Former grand duchess of Newsbriefs.
Gina Coffman: Fashion goddess Ad layout personnel
who ran off to eat piranha in Peru.
Bridget Harrington: Ad proofer who's gone on to
bigger and better things.
Jen Ahrens: One time copy editor now loitering the
streets of Olympia.
J. Brian Pitts: He "wrote""excellent" reviews of movies
for the "paper of his choice."
OavidIiSuperfan"Taylor: Billwatch correspondent
from the state capitol to your home.
Erin Ficker: Unauthorized CPJ performance artist.
Mason James McGraw: Spoke Astrologically.
Alex Crick: He, like, took lots of photos.
Sam Trechter: He, like, took photos, too.
cpj0732.pdf